"Be joyful always. Pray Continually. Give thanks in all circumstances for this is God's will for you in Christ."
- 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

Yeah, so...just so ya know-
the greek that's used for "pray continually" in this passage = Come To Rest.
Whoa mama. That's a pretty heavy command our wonderful God gives. This idea that prayer is not some tedious chore to accomplish so much as it is coming to just be and relax and rest in His arms. Relationship, love, companionship, enjoyment of one another.
This is quite a glimpse of our Maker's heart. He has made us creatures, objects of His longing, that must be constantly reliant on Him, ever-resting in His approval, enjoyment, and acceptence.

Fight for it, wait and be still until this is your deepest reality and truth. Rest in Him continually, without end, unceasingly. It will no less than alter your whole exisitence.

Our War

Ephesians 6- "God is strong, and he wants you strong. So take everything the Master has set out for you, well-made weapons of the best materials. And put them to use so you will be able to stand up to everything the Devil throws your way. This is no afternoon athletic contest that we'll walk away from and forget about in a couple of hours. This is for keeps, a life-or-death fight to the finish against the Devil and all his angels. Be prepared. You're up against far more than you can handle on your own. Take all the help you can get, every weapon God has issued, so that when it's all over but the shouting you'll still be on your feet. Truth, righteousness, peace, faith, and salvation are more than words. Learn how to apply them. You'll need them throughout your life. God's Word is an indispensable offensive weapon against the enemy, always effective, always doing much harm. In the same way, prayer is essential in this constant battle. Pray hard and long. Pray for your brothers and sisters. Keep your eyes open. Keep each other's spirits up so that no one falls behind or drops out. "


I pray God teach of us to always be available, believing & expectant soldiers in prayer without being overwhelmed and heavy-laden at the size of the battles that do and will continue to ensue without end until His return. May we press in with love, faith, power, & anticipation, grabbing hold of no more and no less than the specific prayer assignments apportioned to each of us, one day @ a time. I pray He teach us to always stay in line with His battle plans alone and forsake the seemingly well-laid plans of flesh & blood. May we never be too numb or too occupied and busied to feel the gentle tug of the Spirit inviting us to war in the unseen- laboring with no less than our Messiah's strength; while never too proud or self-focused to forget that striving in our lifeless fleshly power is of no worth whatsoever & that not a one of us is a lone soldier on this battlefield but a uniquely valuable member of a vast, arising, raging, lovesick army. And praise Him without end that it's not about us. We are not at the center of this epic... and for that my soul can truly breathe a deep sigh of gratitude & relief.

May our spirits be always full of hope, pointed heavenward toward our one true Home.
May we ever be true to Your Word- not for our own form of godliness' sake, but solely for love's sake.
May our mouths be always full of laughter- of drunken, giddy, thankful praise.
May our bodies ever be vessels pure, free & honoring to Thee.
May our minds be stayed on Thee & from this world's rusting, moth-eaten "delights", free.


"A heart without words is of far more value than words without heart"
- John Bunyun

"He who lives without prayer, he who lives with little prayer, he who seldom reads the Word, and he who seldom looks up to heaven for a fresh influence from on high -he will be the man whose heart will become dry and barren."
-Charles Spurgeon

"Our confidence is not in understanding God’s plan but in knowing we can fully trust in God’s good heart & purpose for good, in leading each step of our lives.
Even now, as we are faced with the fears of the future, I confidently renew my promise to the Lord, daily declaring, “O Lord who is One, lead on and I will follow Thee.” "
-Unknown

"No matter how far away it all may seem, again and again I seem to be somehow falling towards this vision in a way I can't explain. Suspending the law of gravity couldn't stop this longing in my soul from pursuing its goal. No force of nature could pry this dream from my hand. While it seems that I am waiting here… simply suspended in mid-air, I am in fact progressing towards this ultimate and unique destiny which was God-breathed. As I descend, I have to trust that I am gaining speed and momentum in the way of experience and refinement. Each day, each trial, and each victory brings me closer to the certain reality of it-just as time flows eternally forward without fail. In hindsight, I'll stop and suddenly think how quickly the time passed to bring me to that place where my great passions and the great needs of the world met. "
-Tric Morris

"Only let us live up to what we have already attained."
-Philippians 3:16

"You have stolen my heart, my sister, my bride; you have stolen my heart with one glance of your eyes..."
-God

Counted the High Cost...Took the Narrow Path Gladly Anyway

The present question on the table is "Do you really believe God is just as near and you can be walking in the Spirit just as fully even now?"
Now that I am no longer full-time in the prayer house. Now that I am no longer surrounded by a dozen other Jesus-addicted, counted the cost & took the narrow path anyway, helplessly lovestruck followers of God? Now that I'm having to fight the tide of unbelief once again and trust that I have done all the human stuff I can do and God will do all the God stuff that He needs and wants to do in providing for me - in every way necessary - daily. That whether it's a bill to be paid or a possession I am so thankful for...it all belongs to Him as my Provider.

The more & more I crack open the Word in a grace-fueled gift of desire to simply know the PERSON of Jesus and not just a weak, lifeless theory or wholesome way of living a "good" life or well-educated, well-read life, but Him as a breathing, always active, emotional, interested, extremely involved, & insanely non-human-esq. lover - well I am floored. Floored by how many times He asked those around Him the question "Why?" :

"Why are you afraid? You have so little faith..."

In this question, I can almost feel the redundancy and the agony of an all-loving, all-knowing, all-powerful Being bewildered and hurt that the objects of His deepest longings simply will not fully trust Him. He must simply wrythe when we chase other little human being creations, thinking they would or could satisfy our deepest needs. Or that we could somehow take care of ourself and see Him as an afterthought or last ditch effort. HIM- being GOD. The One, The Creator...Him as Someone not worth every last ounce of our everything.
All the while, there He is, right next to each of us. Just waiting with all passion, acceptence & desire for us to decide that He is most worthy of our time, thoughts & love. For us to still ourselves- esp. our head with all its thoughts- and decide that the most worthwhile, fun, adventuresome way to spend a few hours of every day is to simply...wait in silence. Wait on Him and His desires. Stop and set aside all else for the sake of One. To give Him the chance to speak to us all the wonders & affection that any lover longs to have the chance to whisper to their beloved.

Oh, and the answer to the question chasing me since I've been back in Missouri & on a temporary break from YWAM, is "yes", most assuredly Yes. We can be just as fully engaged with God and His presence and desires for each of us and this world now, even now. Because it turns out that whether we are doing laundry, feeding homeless people, doing warfare in the spiritual/eternal realm and worshipping in a prayer house for hours on end every day, out shopping in the holiday madness and offer a smile and tender heart to a grouchy cashier, or investing in the sometimes challenging struggle of trying to communicate with those nearest to us even if it's difficult, time-consuming & seemingly mundane...in all these God is still that "Always present help when we need it".
So offer God the only thing He does not have that you alone can give to Him - You. And Your love. No matter the situation or location or who you find yourself surrounded by... know that God is the most powerful Reality we ever need.

Being a part of a 24/7 prayer & fasting team on behalf of my wonderful God's heart's desires has utterly turned my world upside down. I am so destroyed for the commonplace, ordinary, and temporary - and it's AWESOME.
Psalm 27 ... ONE thing we all have been made to truly desire... What a beautiful, mighty Conqueror we get to love, serve, and wage battle for love under.



"Intercessory Prayer" -By Dutch Sheets

Stubborness can be channeled into a righteous force called persistence or endurance- one of the most vital spiritual attributes of the Christian life. A lack of endurance is one of the greatest causes of defeat, esp. in prayer. To God, waiting is wonderful...we love microwaving while He's into marinating.

God won't satisfy the skeptic & He is not pleased with unbelief, but He loves the honest, sincere, & comfortable/trusting questions of a trusting child.

We are tired of cloaking our ignorance in robes of blind obedience & calling it spirituality. We are tired of a form of godliness void of God, void of power, void of sincere love.

Prayer is the winning blow, the strike- service is gathering up the results.

Does perhaps God do nothing on this earth save in answer to believing prayer?

Prayers of God's saints are the capitol stock of heaven by which God carries on His great work upon earth.

Ummm...here's the deal yo.

Hear me now. Please.

There's this God Who listens to His kids who love Him and are hungry for more of Him and totally unsatisfied with the shallow, fake, & temporary of this fading world.

I mean seriously we have to start living this stuff out daily - guys He's coming back for us so soon. This Warrior of a King is on His way, closer and closer every day. We have to start using the authority He allowed Himself to be murdered on that wood cross for. We have to start stepping up to the plate and accepting what He's already offered- the ability to shake Heaven and earth as we Get to know Him, love Him, and in faith walk out what He asks us to walk out - to step up and stand between God and a hurting world of people dying, litterally every day, and becoming separated for all time from the only One Source of LOVE.

Revelation 1
"To him who loves us and has freed us from our sins by his blood, and has made us to be a kingdom and priests to serve his God and Father—to him be glory and power for ever and ever! Amen.
Look, he is coming with the clouds,
and every eye will see him,
even those who pierced him;
and all the peoples of the earth will mourn because of him. So shall it be! "I am the Alpha and the Omega," says the Lord God, "who is, and who was, and who is to come, the Almighty."
I turned around to see the voice that was speaking to me. And when I turned I saw seven golden lampstands, and among the lampstands was someone "like a son of man,"dressed in a robe reaching down to his feet and with a golden sash around his chest. His head and hair were white like wool, as white as snow, and his eyes were like blazing fire. His feet were like bronze glowing in a furnace, and his voice was like the sound of rushing waters. In his right hand he held seven stars, and out of his mouth came a sharp double-edged sword. His face was like the sun shining in all its brilliance.When I saw him, I fell at his feet as though dead. Then he placed his right hand on me and said: "Do not be afraid. I am the First and the Last. I am the Living One; I was dead, and behold I am alive for ever and ever! And I hold the keys of death and Hell."

It's time. Army of God, men and women - arise.
Give Him your all. All.
Rise up and be who His love and blood has enabled you to be. Daily.

P.S. Please read the book "Intercessory Prayer" by Dutch Sheets. I beg you. You'll never see God, yourself, and life the same. Loooove it.

Oh sniggitys.
It's a good life once a child of God has been given the revelation that his or her desires, the things they find their hearts racing @, their souls having that deep/warm/untouchable peace about, the things that they can feel with their hearts before their eyes see have been placed their by a good God who's well-devised plans have been laid out since before we took our first step or dreamed our first dream.

Here's to embracing the call each of us has placed on and in us by a very specific, detail-oriented Maker. Here's to refusing to run from them or believe the enemy's lies that we are selfish for desiring the very things God desires for us to desire!!! Here's to serving and loving Him by believing His plans are perfect, without a single blemish; and that all good flows from His hands and His hands alone!
Oh be of good courage you God-stalkers - He sees and adores you. He never grows weary of your questions and thoughts and conversations with Him. He loves listening. And He loves talking. He is infinitely patient and rediculously kind and accepting. Where else should we honestly run but to Him first?!

A bunch of us went to visit Gettysburg yesterday afternoon.
Dang.
Now that place is pretty saaweet. Reminded me of the movie Braveheart or somethin. It was so cool. God keep raising up real warriors for You. Men of valor. Men willing to be all in for You.


God woke me this morn with Psalm 33. It was perfect- as His words whispered to my heart always are.
"For the word of the Lord holds true and we can trust everything He does."
Even when it takes years the see His promises whispered to our heart make the leap from the unseen/spiritual into the seen/natural. Even when we must grit our teeth and cry out for understanding to see things the way He sees them when it appears His word has failed or been delayed or somethin; instead of just passively, weakly sitting by and saying "Ah well. I'll just keep on keepin on and try to ignore what makes my heart race and my soul leap out of my chest. I'll pretend this pain and longing aren't here. Who am I to ask God or seek His heart in this matter..."
We must fight for the Divine Reality: LOVE. That this is what undergirds His every action. And oftentimes even the visions, callings, and dreams He plants in us that seem to go unnoticed and fester like a painful, unattended wound, really are right on schedule in His eyes.
So there's hope in the midst of the agony. And there's daydreaming for those bold enough to approach His gracious throne and beg for the strength to fight the giants for it. There's a light approaching, closer & closer with each passing day for those who refuse to look @ the ground in shame and despair - but who look up, only up for the Divine Presence. Because it's there. Always there, when it's all said and done - always there.

p.s.
PRAYER MOVES THE UNMOVABLE. WASTE NO MORE TIME. DON'T KEEP THIS MIGHTY SWORD SHEATHED ANY LONGER Mighty warrior called out by God. Let's not arrive @ Home one day and wish we would have engaged with our God in this area and seen men healed and delivered, governments altered toward righteousness, the unborn given a chance @ the dreams God has for them, friends and family saved, etc.

Just talkin with God and asking Him to rid me of all legalism, condemnation of myself, and judgementalism of others.
And He whispered back "You know Sarah, My love for you has never been legalistic."

Oh scallywags.
God's love for you and for me has always been that bleeding, raw, real, heart-thumping with a single glance of my eyes into His, deep, desirous, aching kind.

No machines, no half-way. No have to b/c He has to kinda junk.

Pure. Without blemish. Without fakeness. Without neediness and insecurity. Pure.


This is the kinda stuff that makes one's soul soar.

This Energy Reserve Never Fails

"I have always been delighted at the prospect of a new day, a fresh try, one more start, with perhaps a bit of magic waiting somewhere behind the morning." -- J.B. Priestly (1894-1984) English Author

Our God has been giving me more and more lovely revelations of His mighty hand being outstretched and oh so very involved in our lives, more than we'll ever fathom. And this single fact alone truly changes everything. I mean, being a created being - isn't it all the difference in the world to know we're not left alone to just blindly try to do life or try to figure out all the questions by ourselves, blindly groping for whatever seems good or legitimate; but to have this Guide Who's primary motivation is to nurture, love, and keep us on the best route possible - @ all times? That He'd even care enough to design and delight in each & every day you and I walk through - each it's own unique gift. This idea that each day you & I roll outta bed we are given a new present, a gift straight from the Almighty's outstretched hand.

Then there's the whole concept He is constantly pursuing me with concerning doing stuff in the flesh's strength gaining fleshly outcomes vs. only doing stuff out of the Spirit...out of a lovesick heart totally enraptured by it's Lover.
I mean how many actions in a given day to I participate in to simply "save face" among other Christians? How many motivations are rooted in just doing the business and nuts & bolts of what looks "right" or "good" when all the while I had Jesus not in mind @ all? All the while perhaps no other created human will ever notice because the action may look good - but how much moreso if we did what we do not because it's what Christians have always done or what's expected, but to truly revere our Maker and do what the Word says only beacuse we are aware of His love for us, His commandments = love, and our love for Him is shown by our trust in those commands and out of a pure, spotless desire to just make Him proud.
And even if we don't get the outcome we had hoped for, if we're misunderstood, if we are insecure @ times and doubt we're hearing God's lovely whispers to our hearts...even in our mistakes if all we truly wanted was to please Dad and had Him alone as foremost in our minds and hearts as the forerunner to our actions- welp, I believe He truly is pleased.
We have this Father with this awesome conviction thing that is so specific, kind, gentle and loving. I'm learning to adore His correction in the same way I'd adore medicine that kills off parasites in my body. Sin only sucks the good and wants to replace with the dark and unlovely.

And when we are fully given over to the Spirit to fuel our every deed and word, we have tapped into an infinite supply of energy to do the very things He asks of us each day.
All I'm sayin' is that if we are finding ourselves constantly worn out, constantly dissappointed in other humans, constantly carrying a heavy spirit or calloused/self-protected heart...maybe God intended so much more. Maybe He longs for us to trade in our independent, laboring in the flesh on our own steam spirits for a child-like humility that is ready to say "Daddy help please. I want to clean this bathroom or cook this meal or pray for this friend or be effective in this ministry -but I don't want to do what's always worked or to assume You want it done a certain way without even searching for Your heart's desires, or even try to accomplish it in the gifts You've given me all the while forgetting You; disregarding the Spirit's desires for this moment, for this day..."

May it be said of our lives that we daily settled for nothing less than fresh manna. That we refused to hide away yesterday's provisions in an attempt to not have to seek after God's heart as much for this day.

Focus on One. The Rest is Coming From His Hand In Due Time.

Life leaps like a geyser for those willing to drill through the rock of inertia.-- Alexis Carrel

Who woulda thunk that it'd take totally flip-flopping my sleep schedule, relocating geographically, partial food fasting and the encouragement and community of a bunch of other Jesus-Junkies to rid my soul of some of the nastiest, most unappealing substances that exisit if ya ask me:
inertia. complacency. half-soul-ness. fence-straddling. second-guessing. wavering. not living up to what Christ spilled out Himself for us to have every moment of every day.

And I luuuuv it. This whole being awake when it's dark just as much as when it's light gig is rockin. My team is on the full-fledged night watch now from 2am-8am every lovely morning. And the extra added little bonus?! When we're standing outside the Supreme Court and Capital somehow we can still catch a full glimpse of stars. Seriously, there are just too many lights to be able to see stars around this place, yet...it is so! I was missing Texas mainly for the wide open spaces and specifically the sky full of yummy stars I'd soak up each evening during God and I's night walks...but this'll do pig. this'll do. (that quote's for you stud-o-rama broski).

Yeah, so. Yeah. Ummm...the Spirit in me is way happy, frankly giddy, right now. This mad-crazy lifestyle of just mainly forgetting about me and my wants and comforts for 40 days or so to focus on what's on His heart is...well... how do you say- wonnnnderfully refreshing.

Never be timid or half-hearted @ seeking His Kingdom first my bro's and sis'. Turns out our Mighty One is not jokin one tiny bit. His innocent, kind, tender, 100% all the time aware and willing heart is trust-able for our heart to rest in fully. Fully engage, totally connect with Him on a daily basis and watch how when you seek Him and His real heart, and His stuff first, He is more than willing to seek and provide "far beyond anything you have ever even thought up or asked for"!!!!


Philippians 2:12-13 (The Message)
"What I'm getting at, friends, is that you should simply keep on doing what you've done from the beginning. When I was living among you, you lived in responsive obedience. Now that I'm separated from you, keep it up. Better yet, redouble your efforts. Be energetic in your life of salvation, reverent and sensitive before God. That energy is God's energy, an energy deep within you, God himself willing and working at what will give him the most pleasure."

Love you guys. I am so appreciative & undeserving of each of you-
Sarah

Intimacy + Prayer = Big 'Ol Changes

Currently my 2 fav. things about our magnificent God?! That no matter how much time I spend @ His feet I've only just begun to barely even scratch the surface of getting to know Him and that no matter where in the world I am asked by Him to go, no matter what we do or who I am surrounded by- this identity grounded steadfastly in Him is unshakable if I'll only discipline my mind and heart to live according to Truth and Love and not feelings or emotions.

Spent about 2 weeks in Chicago doing prayer walks in some of the foreign neighborhoods asking God for His vision to reach the nations,' cause nothin less will be effective. We passed out food to some homeless people living underground...actually living right beneath the most fluent, ritzy street in Chicago- quite the oddity. We performed our drama/hip hop dance/sermons/worship time show several times in elementary, middle, and high schools all around the city, too. It was so enlightening. God truly is rasing up an army of young people searching for truth, looking for a life that rises above the status-quo current sweeping away this country's youth in drug abuse, suicide, apathy, and aimlessness. Getting to preach a short sermon, praying over them, doing the hip hop dance, clowning for the younger guys and leading worship for my teammates as well as some of the youth services were my primary responsibilities and I loved it all so much.
Wednesday, 3 of us took an Amtrak train from Chicago to Washington, D.C. and arrived about 20 hours later here in D.C. We are doing 24/7 around the clock non-stop prayer and Daniel fasting (fruits, veggies and sometime rice or oats) to stand in the gap between this nation and God. We are begging with all our hearts and souls that God have mercy on the life-killing, apathy, devauling of human life, and family-demolishing our country has, whether willingly or passively, participated in the last couple decades especially. The upcoming Senate elections are a major prayer points as well. We are split into 2 teams and I am on the rockin 4am-10am shift. We also pray as an entire team from 7-10pm every night as well. So, needless to say, being called to a full-time job of praying 9 hours every day is pretty sweetness. We walk all around the Mall-praying over the Senate, Capital, White House, etc. and also spend time @ the prayer house here, too.

Anyhoozie- things be amazing. real fun, real stretching, real forcibly removing any insecurity, passivity, self-doubt of hearing God's voice, aimless/worthless thoughts, etc. I'll be here until Nov. 4 and then back to Texas for about 10 days. Beyond that it's unknown to me currently but totally known by my Priest, Provider, Good Gift-Giving, Vulnerable, Always-Present Almighty, Brave King and so it's all gravy.

I am so nuts about you all. My fam and friends are the greatest treasure in my life here on this earth. Crazy about each of you.

The visions, dreams, and plans God shows us tend to be fire.
We either hold them in our hands and grasp onto them for ourselves, fearful of letting go, fearful that if we don't hold on tight they may slip away; or we let go of them and give them back to God in total trust.
We let them light the way with the flame instead of burn us.

Guys, a little more each day my heart is getting set on fire. The more I seek & see and taste & enjoy of our Maker the more totally consumed and nutso I get. He just keeps revealing to me what He's invested in me since the beginning when He spoke this place into existence, what he specifically puts in you and in me so we can be the currency that He uses to share Himself with others through and bring as many souls as possible into Heaven- I mean for real, isn't that truly all it's going to boil down to?!
I want to be a prayer warrior for God for the rest of my days. I want to do battle in the realm that matters, not aginst flesh and blood but spiritually.
And I want desperately for God's Father heart to freshly invade our souls as a nation and as a planet. I want the orphans (which, biblically is anyone without a father) to know they always have had and always will have, a Daddy. I want to see men and women as true men and women. I want the family to be restored to its proper place, the foundation of society, not just something people come and go into as a hobby, while their business or leisure takes the driver's seat.
I want to see the youth of this planet restored.

I don't know ya'll but the more and more i hang out with this God Almighty the more and more head over heels I am. The more & more I yield in total trust to His trustworthiness, I find I am never alone or dissapointed or fearful or not provided for and deeply, affectionately loved. I find my life is now being totally swept away in this adventure and romance with a God Who reveals secrets to those who seek Him with all they got, not just those who occasionally inhabit His presence once in a while, but those who commune minute by minute by just simply acknowledging He is HERE. Right by my side. He WILL show you who to talk to and what to say, He will use you daily to encourage your bros and sis' with very specifc, desperately needed words and actions- they whole point being GOD IS HERE- in and through each of us who are His. (like one pal of mine here having God give her the ONE STINKIN VERSE I needed out of the whole entire Bible on Wed. nite, she just yielded and humbly asked...does this mean anything to you? ohhhh my yesss!).
What glorious things He can do through us if we only believe, enjoy, obey, and trust Him!
Keep your prayers rising up to Heaven non-stop guys, he hears and responds mightyly to the prayers of the righteous ones clothed with Himself.

Deepest blessings of more of His presence on you all.

We leave for chicago two weeks from tomorrow and will be there for 2 weeks, back to texas, then on to D.C. for 6 weeks or so, Lord willing.
Still seems God is hitting home deeper deeper deeper what it means to truly stop. to cease my ideas and plans and scheming in my head and just stop. To stoop down in the dirt on my knees, and empty my hands- lay it all down and then pick up 1 thing and 1 thing alone: Him. and this is teaching me that it's very typical of this above and beyond God of mine to then insist that I muster up the faith/trust to ask Him for the very good and perfect things He desires for me to ask Daddy for. Because what are heart's desires but very good blessings God gets a kick out out of giving those kids He knows are centered and consumed with Him. He is not threatened by abundance and superfluous, nor should I be.
And for His sake, I am refusing fear and the assumption of the worst in an attempt to take care of my own heart and am declaring from this day onward that He is my hope and safe place, my Home to rest and be myself and laugh and be taken care of and loved. I'm tired of hurting His heart by putting up walls and living thngs out halfway. Fear of anything but Him is pure stupidity and straight up sin and must be fought with the fierceness and passion that God requires of those who love Him.
He has never hurt me and that's all I need to rest my hat on. All. You can throw your whole entire self into the God-basket and then let yourself rest, knowing you'll never get betrayed, wounded, or walked out on.
This is the day, this is the one He made for us. Tomorrow doesn't own you, nor does the past. God alone rightfully, legally owns you. And in this our hearts find peace.

oh snickerdoodle - God wasn't kidding. When i stop striving in my own energy or in the enthusiasm, depth or knowledge i can muster up on my own and just start delighting, enjoying, laughing with, going on walks @ stinkin 6 am just b/c He asks and wants to hang out with me, etc. it really is an easy yoke we share.
no more trying to do stuff on my own, no more fence riding...just getting to know Him, trust Him, step out WITH Him and livin this life thing a little more transformed by Truth each day.

the clouds around here the past couple days have been making the coolest sculptures in the sky. and one of my small group peeps told me last night that apparently @ some point this week mars is suppossed to park itself next to the moon. sa-weeet.
learning to be a better wife to God is hard but the investment always has major returns. always.
so thankful as God keeps revealing stuff He has for me. it's plumb exciting. love that He "sees the end from the beginning" in all things and that i will never go to Him with a quandry or circumstance and have Him respond "oh shoot. now i wasn't prepared for that one...ummmm let's re-eval here. this is a predicament." never. no suprises.
i love that i have all eternity to look forward to and that even though it never fails- the more and more He shows me stuff in me- i don't know the fathoms of my own stinkin soul; but God knows me, all of us, and that's honestly all i gotta rest in. it's quite nice.
the new dark chocolate raisinets are pretty tight.
i miss riding my bike.
i feel like i am learning for the first time ever what it means to be helpless and child-like with God. this is a biggie in His eyes- how did i never really get it? ah well...everything in its own season, ey?
i love people. not a dull moment with the variety to shake things up daily.
when God is not speaking HE IS SPEAKING! He's saying keep on keepin on. keep doing the same. don't pull a sarah jensen and freak out and condemn yourself and be all insecure that you're doing something wrong. His silence is sometimes o.k. for real. just keep going and have ears open to His loving correction for sure, but otherwise just keep walking and TRUSTING.

go pet a dog today. they're so amazing. it's like a little human who feels emotions himself and those of others around him...yet won't yack a lot but only listen. and they shake their tails a lot and smile all the time. it's a perfect little creature in so many ways- admit it.

ohhhhhh friends...how do you find words for one of the best weeks of your life? it's just been indescribable. words will never do.
some things i look forward to about Heaven- 1. "seeing God as He is" and 2. maybe having a larger capacity to express to God what i love and appreciate about Him. it's so frustrating. no expressions ever begin to cut it. ever listened to david crowder's "i need words"- yeah, exactly.
some highlights from the week-

talking to some pals...one of which is taking a husband a week from tomorrow- WHAT?! oh it's so beautiful. (love ya jess, so thankful for you girl!)

God being good enough to give me new revelation on His "good and perfect gifts" - with our God being as big as He is, maybe there are more than just one "best" in different areas of our lives. just try to think of it ya'll - an infinite One giving a gift to a finite one. i mean, what're the odds that we're gonna experience some beautiful stuff the more and more deeply we press into Him?!

a prayer burden @ the chapel yesterday. He told my heart in a grievous, painful, desperate tone: My people don't know me. they run around and "do" stuff for me and try to tell others about me, but they don't take the time for solitude and silence to JUST BE with me and get to know me. and it hurts me...bad. not long after all that i dozed off listening to some goo goo dolls. woke up a little while later to the end of "iris" and the repeating of "i just want you to know who i am. i just want you to know who i am.t want you to know who i am..." yep - we'r e onto somethin here.

ummm...what a shame striving, perfectionism, humanism, and self-sufficiency are. they take God out of the equation, wear us out and keep us from true rest, from hearing His voice, and from properly enjoying Him and others and ourselves. He longs for us to see Him as a loving, patient Dad...and as my earthly pops said today- even an earthly dad would never walk around carrying a big stick just waiting to lash out on his baby if he tried to take a step and stumbled or fell. it's the same with learning to hear His voice and obey Him in all things. he doesn't expect perfection right off the bat; He does long for us to just try and keep letting Him teach us in love.
and two examples of a wife:
the first shakes her husband by the collar, lashing out & screaming "what is your will! what are we doing?! what's going on!?" and the second: chillin on the couch, snuggling up to her husband and saying 'i simply want whatever is your will. i trust you. but my first priority-can i just have more time with you?"
i mean seriously...which Bride do ya reckon God enjoys more?!

God's Law = Love. they're the same thing. He must just cry out "get rid of this stupid stuff. it separates me from you and i just wanna bless you! get rid of this, it hates and messes with you."

obedience is being a steward of what God has given us right now. not dwelling on past sin or worrying about future struggles- but the right now.

love God, love others & yourself.
keep it simple guys.

this old gentleman who's been around YWAM since it's crazy beginnings a handfull of decades ago spoke to us a couple weeks ago.
he's one of those people that when you look him in the eyes, you know you've just caught a tiny glimpse of God. he swallows you in with the constant joy and rest he's been given in God's presence; and this countenance despite going into some of the most scary places on this entire planet. repeatedly.
i found myself litterally sitting on the very edge of my seat as he spoke. i'm starving hungry to know God as He really is, not as a second-hand God; and this man has grasped on to quite a chunk of my Husband.
He spoke about how God longs for 3 things in His kids as we TRUST Him-
*deliverness
*relaxation
*happiness
this is how this watching world all around us sees a difference in us; how they see and want what Jesus has put deeply in them to want.

He isn't a nagging, assuming the worst, pessimistic God at all. He grins and full-on shouts about you. He really gets a kick out of you coming to the end of your resources, connections, and strength. He enjoys you. tons. more than you ever thought He'd care to. and it must grieve Him so much when we don't honestly, passionately, repeatedly, and innocently enjoy Him in return.

did a greek study on faith this week. a couple passages in mt. 8 & 9 about faith in greek say
"as you have trusted, let it become to you."
how do you trust someone? spending time with them often and deeply in order to continually get to know them inside and out & by also letting them prove to you that they'll come through and they're for you, on your side- not against you- out for your highest good always.
how do you let them prove to you they'll come through? by being willing to LET them take care of you instead of trying to take care of yourself all the time.
thinking about God's grace this morn., too.
grace = "unmerited, unearnable favor of God"
definition of grace =
To perform a kindness or service for; oblige.
To treat or regard with friendship, approval, or support.
To be partial to; indulge a liking for
To be in support of.
To make easier or more possible; facilitate
To treat with care; be gentle with

favor. of God. God favors us. favor. God of creation, redemption, all knowledge, source of all love and everything good and grand- that God - His favor- resting on you and i.

wait, so does that mean i work really hard and then pray and ask Him to show up? no sir.
wait, so does that mean i consult flesh and blood and don't really include God because i don't wanna bother some distant big thing in the sky? oh no no sir.
so does that mean i run around like mad trying to prove my heart to humans and work really hard @ becoming something or someone? nopey.

How about the possibility that the raining down of God's provision, ease, support, friendship, & approval is seeing us through a life of impossible struggle, of hardship and confusion for sure- but we won't have to carry that dark, heavy feeling of doing it alone. of never adding up.



Go and enjoy God deeply and unencumbered this week guys. He sure is nuts about and enjoys you.

"we're as close to God as we choose to be. He never witholds His love and presence from us, we alone hold ourselves back from Him."

been going through the deepest soul-surgery i've ever been through. spiritual gift surveys, personality profiles, etc. come nowhere near as close to the depth and resultant healing with God's Truth like this study "The Divine Plumbline" by Dr. Bruce Thompson. yikers. do it. go-now- please do it and be much more aware of God's healing and lifting of burdens you didn't haven't the slightest clue you even had.
cold sweet coffee is such a blessing.
walks in the rain pretty much make my week.
as do walks on starry, breezy texas evenings.
communal living is pretty sweet.
people comfortable enough to just be themselves-laid back, then quiet, then crazy hilarious, then observative, then goofy and fake falling.....ahhhhh it's so great. love it.

God asking you to get on your hands and knees and dig up all the dreams you buried in an effort to protect yourself from pain and confusion again...amazing.

God actually caring more about your dreams than you do...priceless.

Some Spots In Me That Truth Has Taken Over

from class wednesday, 7/5/06-

we access the cross and salvation through:
1. repentence
2. faith

then, as a believer in Christ- we access daily victory and power through God and over satan through:
1. repentence
2. faith

i was this past month down here of how i don't enjoy God and "us"enough- my Daddy and Best Friend and Savior. i spend too much time clamoring to like "fix" our relationship and somehow get it "perfect" or somethin; as if i'm gonna like beat God to ultimate sanctification or some rediculousness like that. it's wacky wrong. all the while disregarding spending enough of my days just resting in His lap enjoying Him.
why why why, do so many Christians live like the rest of the world- stressed, worried, heavy w/ burdens? this shouldn't be friends. Jesus was so excited in John 14 i think when He was telling the disciples to get pumped up because after He left they'd be even more blessed b/c of the help of the ultimate Helper; Someone to lean fully on and on Who's steam and energy we'd work in. He didn't say to run around "doing" for me and then maybe ask the Spirit for some help 10% of the time. It's silly folks. Think of the magnitude of the Messiah Himself saying "you are blessed that I'm leaving...b/c it signifies the arrival of Another..."

and accessing more of God's presence, blessing, and pleasure is not JUST granted through our repentence. if the Spirit has convicted us of something we admit, confess, and ask 4 forgiveness made possible through the Lamb's blood and we turn a different way and MOVE ON.
walking around having a downcast, repentent spirit all the time when there's nada that's been revealed right then to repent of IS NOT HUMILITY. it is condemnation and if "therefore there is now NO condemnation" for us in Christ then all condemnation is from satan.
so, we move to step two - faith.
"without faith it is IMPOSSIBLE to please God." not kinda sortta still maybe possible sometimes. IMPOSSIBLE.
i have wasted so much time trying to "fix" myself apart from the Spirit's power and have failed to just step into part two: faith ("confidence in Christ"). ah what release and peace. Jesus got angry with sin, no doubt. but He got upset so many times with believers b/c of "their lack of faith". and when you study the greek texts, "trust" and "faith are often interchangeable!
A couple passages in Mt. 8 & 9 about faith in greek say "as you have trusted, let it become to you." how do you trust someone? spending time with them often and deeply in order to continually get to know them inside and out & by also letting them prove to you that they'll come through and they're for you, on your side- not against you- out for your highest good always. how do you let them prove to you they'll come through? by being willing to LET them take care of you instead of trying to take care of yourself all the time. oh friends, study God's loving character, provision and power. then act on it. have faith in God. don't let unbelief have a foothold. Take stock this week of how well you know God as revealed in the Word and in your life now., and how well you therefore trust Him with everything. everything.

oh how i wish the "year of jubilee" was still practiced like in the O.T. : a time of forgiving financial debts, rest from work, and celebrating all the good that God brought in the previous years. or even if a weekly sabbath was truly lived out- how much more effective as Chrsitians would we all be? it deserves some serious thought.


Nehemiah 8:10
"Nehemiah said, 'Go and enjoy choice food and sweet drinks, and send some to those who have nothing prepared. This day is sacred to our Lord. Do not grieve, for the joy of the LORD is your strength.'

ummmmm...whoever is praying for me to see myself as God sees me....oh snap- puleeeze keep it up! this is stud-o-rama.
i'm seriously learning that when i am critical and short-sighted, staring @ myself and other people (humanism stinksssss!) i am pretty much always dealing with some sort of insecurity.
this trend is rampant in Christ's Body right now i think. and i'm being taught by God that insecurity = lack of faith, unbelief, grievous to God.
straight-up. seriously, insecurity does not warrant babying but a study of God and who He tells me i am. based on Who He is. it hurts Him guys. it blocks the flow of His Spirit through the pipes that are you and me.
satan gets a smile on his face, we look down in shame and self-abasement, and God must wonder when the way we think of ourselves and others will match up with what He died to give us-
worth beyond a set value - infinite value is placed on our infinite souls by the infinite God. and you possess, right this second as you read this, an identity that can be shared with no other person ever stitched together in their mom's belly.
do you see the horror of comparison? it is a hamster wheel we let ourselves jump on that will never work. satan loves how much it steals of our souls and wastes our time on this temporary earth. loves it.
i wanna see with God's view. i want to live my life lined up with Truth. i wanna put a smile on Daddy's face.

persecution.org :
this website sends out a weekly email and shares very specific people, nations, and situations to interceed for. reality can be tough but it's still truth and as our brothers and sisters suffer, we should stand between them and God and feel what they feel regularly. being @ this missionary base has taught me this vital and non-negotiable area of following Jesus and truly loving His Body and feeling pain when they feel pain; screaming in joy when they are blessed and delivered by God's strength working through the powerful and effective prayers that go up to Him.

onestory.org :
just learned about this ministry that's rising up for all the oral learners of the world (what what!). it's main theme is to better reach more people groups around the world. approx. 2/3 of all people in the world either can't or won't learn through reading. they want to learn through stories, drama, music, parables, etc. it is a great effort @ "being all things to all men that we may by all means reach some for Christ." it's simply doing what Jesus did- meeting each individual where they're @ and loving them by communicating with them in ways they're more comfortable with. this is so important in all evangelism endeavors!
the idea is to do what Jesus did-
mark 4:33-34 :
"He used many such stories and illustrations to teach the people as much as they were able to understand. In fact, in his public teaching he taught only with parables, but afterward when he was alone with his disciples, he explained the meaning to them."

we got to watch a sample oral story about Cain & Abel.
sarah got major goosebumps. this whole concept it mad cool. seems there's something to all this if Jesus leaned so heavily on it in His 3 year public ministry.

i pray ya'll are pressing in, finding God is all you ever wanted and way beyond. please pray for me specifically that God would have His way. one of the possible outreach locations for my particular school is litterally the one place i always dreaded going to. so just pray that God would truly have His way in all areas of me, that He'd break through any clouds, any fog that's keeping me from feeling His presence, guidance, delight in and love for me. learning to hear His voice is nuts. but man is it ever on His heart for all of us who love and follow Him. we must persevere in this particular area in life. "the Spirit said...", "the Spirit compelled us..." time in prayer and listening to Him is simply vital. challenging and a constant learning process that must be undertaken in humility and deep trust in the fact that He wants to speak and guide us even more than we want Him to- amen!

He is on the move in every nation right this minute. we are so blessed to follow such a King.

hoping, wishing, waiting, thanking

having 3 roommates and 20 housemates is actually pretty fun. i have offically found a couple places to get alone with God, though- which is challenging to say the least on a base where approx. 200 peeps live. both quiet spaces may or may not involve small rooms commonly referred to as "bathrooms"...but, hey - there's a lock and it is a space for just me and God...it works.
the ants continue to assault with a fierceness unparalled to most wild beasts, seriously what's that about? 2 out of 3 of my daily meals here are salads. they have stuff to accompany salads and sometimes it's pretty good. the other night i was stoked to get steamed broccoli and chicken tetrazinni (not as good as yours Ma), but it was the first time i got seconds. it was yummy.
i am so happy and feel so poured into by the seasoned, refined and experienced Christ-followers here. dang. they're so cool. we're supposed to find out today where my group of 20 or so will go on outreach in october and november!
and all my peers rock too. it seems to be pretty close to the Church written about in Acts. everyone sharing stuff, eating together, sleeping together, praying together a lot and thinking about other's longings before our own. crying together. laughing together. playing frisbee together. and praying for the ants to be utterly destroyed in a very painful way.
uh, i mean, all of God's creatures are valuable.


o.k., some thoughts:

"The proper rewards are not simply tacked on to the activity for which they are given, but are the activity itself in consummation." C.S. Lewis

Oh the trying yet amazing experience of anticipation. God's beautiful delays add such excitement, strain, and glow to our lives. in the same way i get all bottled up inside if i haven't played my guitar for a while or how i daydream about how to escape & get some time in silence & solitude with just God, or how my body screams out when it hasn't gone walkin or joggin for a while...our souls are built up, encouraged, challenged, matured, and excited when God asks us to put strong longings on the backburner and just wait and focus on other things with 100% passion for now.
wait = trust. and it's good for us.
greek for "hope" = patient expection. the Message version of the word calls it "passionate patience", how sweet is that? the laborious efforts towards waiting cause us to finally see and in turn admit our needs and wants. they force us to stop running from desires and start embracing. they are so often God's avenue to true delight and ecstasy. and every day is part of a whole. no experience in and of itself is disconnected from God's full view.
praise Him over and over, continually for His love towards us, His kiddos.
i am so happy to have a God who loves us and values us above all creation. even those super cool plants that eat bugs or over the always-moving ocean and the never-the-same sunsets He paints. we get to be married to the Being who created the human eyeball with over 1 million parts.
yet, your God sees you as more valuable than all that combined.
and, like my earthly pops taught me- boy o boy does He ever love for His kids to have fun with Him. laugh with Him. including Him in it all. inside jokes and thoughts, our struggles and victories- do we always go to Him first, the closest to us evvver or do we run to another human with nowhere near the same amount of deep knowledge and love for us?
He gets a kick out of us when we ask, look for, and continually knock on His door for things He truly longs to give us. but He'll always give us the best, which can sometimes look differently than our pea-brain, temporal idea of "best"! He ALWAYS has the highest good in mind for you.
What a good Daddy we have in Him.
thanks for the opportunity to wait. thanks that You whet my appetite for things before you bless me with them. and then smile and giggle when you see how i smile & giggle.

guys - i am getting a blessed revelation lately that i wasted so much of my life. i subconsciously ran around trying to prove my value to myself and other humans.

come to find my value has already been settled.
and my Hero has even been slayed because He alone can see it in its entirety.

i truly love the movie "Braveheart". seems that all this time our Jesus and us are actually living it out. He fought and fights for the value that He placed in each of us uniquely.

live everyday in light of this truth.
because if anything is reality, this is it my brothers and sisters.

What's Valuable?

"the only thing that counts is faith expressing itself through love." gal. 5:6

whoppers. all this week in class we have had one of the most amazing, kind, compassionate, saoked in truth and God's presence men speaking. he has been given a revelation of God and His love and it has honestly saturated everything this man is. he's talking to us all this week about God's true character and His actions & love towards us.
and it's already changing my life.

the essence of all relationships: friendship
marriage should be the closest friendship possible on this planet. (how exciting and fun is that!)
a relationship will never get any closer than it is pure in motive.
it's not always about how our actions are perceived but it IS always about the heart's motivation behind it.
Why are you significant?

really, think about this.
whay are you significant?

because of your ability? - what if you jack up royally and don't perform well some days, does God still love you? you betcha.

because you are a child of God? - what about all the other millions upon millions of humans walking this planet who are not covered in Chrsit's blood yet? does God still love them and did He still lay Himself on the alter for them? yeppers. yes He did.

because you are made in the image of God and He has placed value on you and said you are good and pleasing to Him from the first day His eyes saw you being stitched together in your mom's stomach? - ding ding ding! that's the answer my pals. it is first and foremost based on the fact that i am valuable to God. period. all human beings are worth something b/c they are valuable to their Maker.
we are commanded to love.
hebrew for command = "divine prescription" it heals, frees, and soothes like nothing else- they don't weigh down they release into deeper freedom to the extent you follow them (no american pharmacist can hook ya up with what the Good Doc can, ey?)
love is a choice.
love is connected to value.
we will always choose the most highly valuable to us.
so what we spend the hours of each of our days on = what is most valuable. period. even if you think you hate what you do with your life, you have made a choice to value your activities or relationships, your time alone with God or your television or drugs.
love is a special way of choosing.
love is not a special way of feeling.
emotions are easy to get. they are simply a reaction to a perception of a person and a perception of being in a relationship with them.
love is based on trust - will you trust God to give your life value, purpose, and joy? or will you trust yourself more? others more?
b/c you're believing either God, satan, yourself or others. it's that cut & dry folks. someone is pleased with who you believe and trust.
i have to value myself b/c when i don't i am saying God is a liar and when He tells me i'm valuable i am believing what i "feel", a lie, over Him.
sex is not unholy within God's confines. the bible is not shy nor does it tiptoe around the fact that this is one of the greatest pleasures God's beautiful mind conjured up. satan has trashed its beauty and worth. this is such a shame, esp. within Christ's Body. seriously, who is satan to give advice on sex? he is a fallen angel and the letter to the corinthians is plain about the fact that angels are nuetered beings who haven't the first idea about sex anyway! (from the book "Relationships"- one of our 5 required readings...i highly recommend it ya'll!)
in order to love others properly i must love myself: whatever i want for me, i will want for my neighbor, whether judgemental, perfection-striving and scrutinizingly harsh, or prosperous accepted, and valued.

if you are insecure and worried about looking perfect to other faulty, insecure human beings, chances are you will judge and despise your neighbor as well.
instead, make a pact with your heart to focus primarilly on God's grace, His kindness that leads us to repentence... not some false view of Him as a slave-driver instead of loving Friend, Husband, and Sheperd.

love = a commitment to follow the highest good.
i will not own happiness knowingly @ the expense of God or my neighbor.
i will believe God has placed value on me and every single human because He, as the Ultimate in Value has stated each of us as valuable.


"After making us, God said 'it is good' and that is good enough for me." C.S. Lewis

=)

"They Will Know Us By Our Love..." or will they...

this author and preacher dude spoke in class yesterday a.m. and will be speaking to us all week. the guy's amazing. he's totally stepped aside and has let the Spirit preach through him. and not in a stiff, un-real, holier than thou fakey way. the guy's a hilarious dork.
picture with me if you will david letterman as a christian speaker. not kidding. the same gestures, laugh, and all around absurd goofiness.
i've come to learn that i think another reason child-like antics and humor light up my life is that i can concentrate and actually learn so much better if the teacher isn't all concerned with looking stoic and worldly wise. (p.s. i've also been doing this study on not only grace but on pride. do we all for real remember that everything we know is b/c someone took the time to teach us...that we know nada, absolutely nothin in and of just ourselves. like how is pride so rampant- it's just such a ridiculous lie to believe. there's nothing we know that we learned apart from God and others...anyways)
anyhoo... onward soldier... dean sherman spoke on Kingdom living vs. worldly living. both are invisible systems. one is based on unalterable Truth. the other has no base, just floating out there- governed by bondage to selfishness, deception, and the temporary.
then he started on a topic that God has been swallowing me up in off and on recently: God being so much bigger than a religion. so much more huge and all-consuming than the confines of man can contain.
Truth is Truth is Truth. any successful marriage or wise business tactics automatically come from living Kingdom principles. EVERY good and perfect thing flows from God alone. now there is only one Way into the Kingdom. jessh - our Lord couldn't have been more straight-forward about that ya'll. but what if all that is good, pure, wise, noble, loving, and eternal flows from One Source and One Source only? what if Truth isn't so much a structure or denomination or organization so much as it is an invisible system of unchangeableness anchored in God alone? is our wonderful God perhaps sooo much bigger than we have previously believed and previously lived out in everyday life?! is our God un-boxable? uncontainable? oh my. yes o yes. we are all members of one Body. One. denominations can be o.k. but sectarianism is not so good-- claiming that one group is the best or the most holy or like a better part of the Body or somethin. just doesn't seem biblical to me. we are either alive in Christ or dead in our trespasses. period.
dean also spoke about how we are all, ALL of us, clamoring around for someone or Someone to tell us we belong and are a treasure. and that's exactly what our Jesus tells us. "we are no longer illegimate..." we are not an unwanted pregnancy. we can all so easily be independent and avoid community and strive for self-sufficiency then wonder why we get lonely. he's been a pastor before i think and spoke about how many pastors and just ministry people in general he knows who were simply not backed up and supported by their congregations. the members would get so wrapped up in anything but Jesus. they lost sight of the ultimate Commonality. it's so tragic. we so easily settle and trade in the eternal and abundant for temporary and shallow. life is a vapor; why do it. why?
do we truly see what satan's done to attack the Body- to split us up "divide and conquer" if you will. can we just spend most of our energies on the big 4: who's God, what's the bible, who's Christ, and how is salvation for eternity gained?
we are wanted and belong to God. and to one another. we all got the same Jesus DNA in us if we are in Christ. doctrine shouldn't be our big commonality. Christ already is the only commonality worth spendin much time focusing on. may all of our identity be so wrapped up in Christ that lessar things fade. that we focus on His saving power for every tribe, tongue and nation that has yet to hear about true Life. it's awesome. by this all men will know that you are my disciples: your love for one another.

religioned out. may we all sort through what is really of God as revealed in the Word and what is unnecessarily weighing down. His grace is enough. His calling on our life is "easy and light and well-suited" for each of us.
just more Jesus. a real living, breathing God-man who walked this earth and is now seated in His Home. matthew 11:28 in greek = "come to me if you are overloaded with ceremony and spiritual anxiety." please God, no more striving and pushing and piling up works. we're not serving some faceless, distant object.
as oswald chambers says: i don't wanna just be doing some lifestyle or be devoted to a cause, we gotta be devoted to a Person.
Our Jesus Christ. Our Saving One. Our Master.

the ants down in these parts are a brute rebel force.
frankly, they frighten me a bit.
a lot a bit.
even if you come within a 1oo meter radius of their village you are automatically an enemy to be evacuated and must be bitten. repeatedly. their primary aim in life is to hunt and gather.
and make humans cry.
it's putting a bit of a cramp in my outdoors enjoyment.

i will overcome.

Random Frivolities

i like being a temporary texan. it's a lot like missouri here and has shown me that i really do like
missouri as a whole pretty stinkin well.

loving people is a daily challenge to do it with all our hearts, not w/ our own might but with our Jesus' might.

is there any pattern to the waiting on God/being in silence with God and how sometimes He seems distant while other times He's seems closer to me than me. suppose in marriage with the King as well as with the hubbs, we will have seasons where we will have to choose to love them and be committed regardless of feeling. i find it freeing to know that all humans go through these seasons. it's nothing to fear or freak out about. what a sigh of relief.

hammocks= muy, muy bueno.

adults acting like kids, also = muy bueno.

was blessed with the opportunity to help lead worship the other afternoon. i'm still beggin for peace and Him to do His thing through a stutterin' moses, and i'm not near as nervous anymore!

been doing a study on grace lately. pretty much it's changing my life.
i'll post it all soon hopefully.
o.k. fine - here's a sampling of the riches:
grace = "unmerited gift" , undeserved, unearnable. "Divine favor".
wages are given to workers.
gifts are given as a result of the generosity of the Giver.
it's simply impossible for the wages earned from our petty works to add up to enough to pay our way into Heaven and to enter into the rest and peace and hope that Christ alone can afford to buy. (romans 5)
more to come.

we went to this rockin church right down the road this morn. the worship's led by paul baloche who apparently wrote the song "open the eyes of my heart". the pastor is really passionate about anti-religion, pro-Christ and modeling Him alone, not man's doctrines and short-sightedness. it's good stuff.

definitely had some alone time reading in the dorm room last night. when, hark, doth mine eyes deceive me- is there something scurrying across mine wall?
oh. o.k. just a COCKROACH THE SIZE OF MISSISSIPPI!
ahhh the joys communal living/missions training

Only Empty Containers Can Be Filled

spending 15 hours in the car all saturday with bro proved to be incredible and just what the Good Doc ordered!
Texas is just so great. i really like it down here guys. a ton.
the dirt is red- reminds me of jamaica big time.
3 min. showers... less humidity down here, even in 100 degree temps. = less sweating so 3 min showers aint so bad really.
4 of us squeezed into one cozy room.
there's all this open space everywhere as we drove through kansas, oklahoma, and texas-brings a focus and clarity on God's bigness and beauty- it's all so good for the soul, like how God intended for us to live or somethin, ya know? less buildings and noise and man. more God and the stuff His hands created.
there's a bunch of ponds on base and a hammock, too. it's just such a cool retreat God called on with Him, it really really is. if you click on the ywam-tyler link on the right of my blog you can see some pictures of this place. gorgeous. it really really is.

we had our first all-base meeting last night. probably 300 hundred people or so of all ages and denominations and stages in their walk. all of us see different facets of God and have expereinced so many diff. things. so much to soak up. last night's speaker was from Australia and he rocked. spoke on the 1st 3 beatitudes.
i was so convicted about how much i have been avoiding brokenness. "blessed are the poor in spirit..." do i really see God breaking me as a blessing? or do i avoid it like the plague?

one of my roomies- danielle- was asking me to pray that she not just get cracks in her heart- that tends to find us clamoring to fix our hearts on our own- she wants God to full-on break her heart -- then and only then-- can He re-form her.
that's so true. and it hit me like no other -
i am the owner of a heart that tries to always take care of itself. i don't wanna "bother" God or others. i want to ignore or just flat-out run from pain and brokenness. it's if i tried to repair my own sin and to somehow grasp onto my desires by myself.

read in oswald chambers' "my utmost for His highest" this morn.-

"what shall i say? Father save me from this hour (these upcoming hardships, great sorrow, agony and seemingly abandonment)? but for this cause i came into this hour. Father, glorify Your name." John 12:27-29
"sorrow burns up a great amount of shallowness, but it does not always make me better. suffering either gives me more of myself or it destroys self (flesh)...in success we lose our head, in monotony we grouse. the way to find your true self is in the fires of sorrow...receive yourself in the fires of sorrow."
Sarah don't run from brokenness and being emptied of all that's not me. don't focus on your pain and brokenness, though. focus on me and my working to rid you of all the black things, the reside still in you that are stealing the real you. see it as a means of me pulling you closer to me and my Father heart. i want to take care of you. i want you to know i'm here and won't walk out on you. i want to show you the treasure that I see in you. let me take care of you. i WANT to take care of you.

brokenness leads to humility
humility leads to accepting God's grace and unconditional love instead of the false identity and false value we gain from "performing well" for God.
accepting God's grace and love leads to accepting yourself.
accepting yourself = being able to truly "love others as you love yourself" well.

we spend so much time evading sorrow and hardship. we are typically told to either get over it with sheer willpower or to just ignore it completely, to figure out what is "wrong" with you. but schnikeys, maybe crossroads and confusions and unexpected events in life are all there very specifically. real specifically?!

lovin the outdoors, the wide age groups and offbeat personalities. lovin the passion and retreating. love that i get lost b/c i have no flippin clue where i'm at when i drive. lovin the learning and classrooms and teaching. lovin that i'm still missing the kids and pals a bit still, too though!
no idea what's gonna happen beyond this 5 month program. i know it's just gonna fly by. no clue @ all and that's okey dokey... cause God knows every last detail.

Is It Just Me Or Is My Car Making Funny Noises?

bob the mechanic told me this morn. that i have been driving my lovely vehicle with only 3 operating brakes.
for like 3 years.
that's right boys and girls- the right front brake was rusted and worthless.
i wondered what all that stuttering and noisiness was about.
my little toyota darlin keep chuggin along with no complaining all this time.
ooopsy.

in other news, gracias to miss lizzy moore. she is a fine young lady. and in my mind and even finer young lady now that she bought me one of the top 5 loves of my life-
a word-for-word literal translation of the greek new testament.

oh sweet bliss.
have i died and gone to Heaven? not yet- but i can tell you what Heaven is gonna be like according to the book of revelation in the original greek.
ahhhhh yeahhhhh

Revelation 2:4
I hold this against you: You have forsaken your first love.

Deuteronomy 6:5
And you must love the LORD your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your strength.

Exodus 20:6
But I lavish my love on those who love me

Deuteronomy 11:22
Be careful to obey all the commands I give you; show love to the LORD your God by walking in his ways and clinging to him.

2 Chronicles 16:9
The eyes of the LORD search the whole earth in order to strengthen those whose hearts are fully committed to him.

Deuteronomy 10:12
And now, Israel, what does the LORD your God require of you? He requires you to fear him, to live according to his will, to love and worship him with all your heart and soul

Deuteronomy 7:9
Understand, therefore, that the LORD your God is indeed God. He is the faithful God who keeps his covenant for a thousand generations and constantly loves those who love him and obey his commands

2 Chronicles 25:2
Amaziah did what was pleasing in the LORD's sight, but not wholeheartedly.

Psalm 46:10
Be still, and know that I am God

Psalm 27:4
One thing I ask of the LORD, this is what I seek: that I may dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life, to gaze upon the beauty of the LORD and to seek him in his temple.

Luke 10:42
Only one thing is necessary. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.

Matthew 22:36-40
Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law? Jesus replied: Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: Love your neighbor as yourself. All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.

2 Chronicles 20:17
But you will not even need to fight... then stand still and watch the LORD's victory. He is with you, O people of Judah and Jerusalem. Do not be afraid or discouraged. Go out there tomorrow, for the LORD is with you!




is there anything more valuable to God, His glory and His Kingdom than a heart fully taken aback by His beauty, strength, complexity, and perfection? A heart that fights daily to keep itself set on Him and Him alone as numero uno?

Some Ramblings

michegan was tight.
my step nephew is bar-none one of the funnest, sweetest, giggliest little boys ever. i pretty much can't not smile when he's around.
i highly enjoy greek food.
mowing is enchanting.
coffee shops are amazing- what a blessing that st. joe suddenly has a few good ones. i could possibly live in one the rest of my life and be content.
seriously.
really content.

o.k. here's the recent wrestling match, wanting Truth to take over...

1 Cor. 2:2-5 "For I resolved to know nothing while I was with you except Jesus Christ and him crucified. I came to you in weakness and fear, and with much trembling. My message and my preaching were not with wise and persuasive words, but with a demonstration of the Spirit's power, so that your faith might not rest on men's wisdom, but on God's power."

Romans 14:1-19 "Accept him whose faith is weak, without passing judgment on disputable matters. One man's faith allows him to eat everything, but another man, whose faith is weak, eats only vegetables. The man who eats everything must not look down on him who does not, and the man who does not eat everything must not condemn the man who does, for God has accepted him. Who are you to judge someone else's servant? To his own master he stands or falls. And he will stand, for the Lord is able to make him stand...let each man be fully convinced in his own mind...do so for the Lord, give thanks to God... For not one of us lives for himself...whether we live or die, we are the Lord's..let us pursue the things which make for peace and the building up of one another."

some pals & i have been struggling for some time with the biblical vision of the Bride, Christ's Body, His presence on this earth; awaiting His return. denominations. the very word equates divison, separation, a part of a whole. is there a denomination that exists that Jesus would have been a part of? isn't God way bigger than these segregations? i just am so humbled and blessed by all bro's and sis' and sure some are further along in their walks than others and some know and live out the Word with deeper knowlegde and conviction, no doubt. there's just so much beauty in each member of Jesus' Body! it's insanity. and i no doubt totally get the upside of having smaller, organized groups of Believers , too.

John 17:17-21 "Sanctify them by the truth; your word is truth. As you sent me into the world, I have sent them into the world. For them I sanctify myself, that they too may be truly sanctified. My prayer is not for them alone. I pray also for those who will believe in me through their message, that all of them may be one, Father, just as you are in me and I am in you."

oh snap. "I pray that all those bought by my blood are unified, one...just like You, Father and I are one..." ah man, how much time do we maybe waste judging/trying to neatly categorize someone i just met based on what chunk of the Body they claim to be a part of-whether consciously or subconsciously? have i truly spent most of the time, "resolving to know NADA but the important stuff...Jesus & Jesus' sacrifice?" i want so badly for my life to scream Jesus. am i alwayd studying and learning more about Him but humble enough to @ least try to get comfy with saying "i don't know"?
i want to attempt to be o.k. with people and their life experiences not being easily and instantly categorized/figured out. am i for real keeping Christ @ the head, the center, the lead? do i want the sometimes false commradery and sometimes shallow acceptance that is attached to saying i belong to a certain way of thinking about a given set of doctrinal issues?
i don't know, i mean is it best to say, you know what, let's focus 90% of our energies on what we agree on and for exercising the brain's sake think/sort through the Bible together on the stuff up for discussion once in a while...the passages in the Bible that aren't as clear-cut and that have verses for both one side and verses for the other? can we just say "thus saith the Lord..." and leave it @ that - w/o all the tallying of "here's a verse for you...here's a verse for me..."
i mean how much does a lot of this stuff really matter in the day-in, day-out of showing Jesus in the hum-drum of life- the place where most of our life is to be lived for God's glory. how much does all this matter in evangelism to the lost soul getting closer to eternity separated from our wonderful God minute by minute? are we loosing sight of the Big Picture pretty often? i just want to struggle and study and pursue God and His character and what all this means in everyday life, but i suppose i'm learning that i am learning. and it's great. we have this Husband we'll never anywhere near fully grasp and it's so amazing. "everything in moderation".
how beautful moderation and "setting @ one again" are. i don't know. i seriously have no answers. i just know it bums me out that as i am possibly considering seminary once again that i have no idea how to answer the question "which one would you attend?"
i just want people to know God's nutso about them, always has been. i want them to know it all starts and ends with Him. i want them to know that this life stinks. a lot. but it's only a breath, in and out and you're gone. i want them to know He wants them to join their life with Him and experience life to the full.

i am so thankful for all my bro's and sis' in Christ. ya'll light up my soul and teach me so much by just being who ya are. no regrets in regards to your past...surrendered to God it's beautiful and makes you who you are. no fear for the future- God's already there. we get to be married to the One who made that sunset and created the laughter of a child and Who beckons every person on this planet and desires they know Life and Truth. we are so blessed. may we each be bold with what He has taught us and convicted us of, to be stewards of what the Spirit has allowed each of us to learn and experience. to embrace and even encourage the beauty of uniqueness. may He help us remember that presently we "see in part... and are fully known by Him" but we do not fully know Him just yet.
we are getting to know Him.
what a romance and adventure! oh haste the day "we will be like Him for we shall see Him as He really is"!!!

our God is such a good Daddy.
it's nutso how being around kids can both wear you out and re-fuel you like no other sometimes. one of the most tiring things for me @ times is how esp. little kiddos would ask that infamous question "why?"' til Kingdom come if they could. @ the same time though, it's totally beautiful. you can see it on their faces. they're learning. non-stop. all the time. taking in new lessons and sights and storing them away in their little heads and hearts so that they can one day use them again. when i was in the Word the other day it really struck me how you can be an avid reader and have your quiet time and all this, yet if the Word is there to inform you and not conform your daily life it is not being alllowed to have its proper way in our lives really. it's miraculously hard- learning from God, you know?
so many of us seem to be in this funk time right now where it's easy, w/o the perspective of Truth, to get kinda jaded and just feel all around weird i suppose.
almost as if God isn't quite who i've thought all my life He was. and that can seriously take a girl for a loop to say the least. similarly, i think way deep down i was kind of scared of marriage b/c of the day i'd wake up next to hubbs and realize he wasn't quite who i'd committed to, who i'd given up my identity & laid it all on the line for; who i'd promised God i'd love, respect, support and enjoy the rest of my days. then i was led to this doozie of a verse yesterday... psalm 27 is rockin' my boat lately...4-5:"The one thing I ask of the LORD--the thing I seek most-is to live in the house of the LORD all the days of my life, delighting in the LORD's perfections and meditating in his Temple."this brought so much peace to my screwy heart last night. for real. what a sigh of rest and joy comes when we meditate on the fact that God's beautiful perfections will never diminish or cease. never. ever. we can truly enjoy Him, our spouses, others, and even ourselves for the rest of our lives if our focus and drive comes from this one primary Source. a source that never runs dry. shift your focus to anything but His perfections and beauty and BAM, all else begins to lose it's luster and glow. nothing seems to quite satisfy if He's not @ the top of our to-do lists.and He is way too good to let us hold onto our petty, immature, small pictures of Him. he must go on as Father & Teacher. i must go on even when i am battling fear or confusion or trust issues or a downcast soul off & on. i must continue to choose joy and to remember that my Daddy loves me too much to let me stay where i am @ and always live a comfortable, expected life that virtually always gives way to complacency, small expectations and small views of a God who is in no way boring, unloving, or tiny.
Proverbs 12:1-To learn, you must love discipline; it is stupid to hate correction.
Proverbs 11:25-those who refresh others will themselves be refreshed.

Keep @ It For What Matters

yippee ki yo compadres.
so God just spoke to me big time through my gma. we're hangin on the porch and all the sudden she's all:
hey. i learned in my quiet time this morning that sometimes God tells us to do something and we totally obey in the beginning and take that first step, but so often satan, our flesh and others get in the way and we lose sight of the initial word from God. we might take one step too many and next thing we know we're out of God's will when initially we started in His will- pleasing Him. before we know it though, we're ending in pleasing our flesh...
God may clearly say take 3 steps and we take 2 steps in timidity, fear, or unbelief. or, we may take 4 steps in greediness, assumption, or irreverence.
anyhoo- si senor. 100% whole-hearted yessssss. exactly. God released me from so much self-condemnation and self-abasement through this little gem of a bible passage. oh glory! this freedom and release feels tight.


1 Kings 13 (NLT)
A Prophet Denounces Jeroboam
1 At the LORD's command, a man of God from Judah went to Bethel, and he arrived there just as Jeroboam was approaching the altar to offer a sacrifice. 2Then at the LORD's command, he shouted, "O altar, altar! This is what the LORD says: A child named Josiah will be born into the dynasty of David. On you he will sacrifice the priests from the pagan shrines who come here to burn incense, and human bones will be burned on you." 3That same day the man of God gave a sign to prove his message, and he said, "The LORD has promised to give this sign: This altar will split apart, and its ashes will be poured out on the ground."
4 King Jeroboam was very angry with the man of God for speaking against the altar. So he pointed at the man and shouted, "Seize that man!" But instantly the king's hand became paralyzed in that position, and he couldn't pull it back. 5At the same time a wide crack appeared in the altar, and the ashes poured out, just as the man of God had predicted in his message from the LORD.
6 The king cried out to the man of God, "Please ask the LORD your God to restore my hand again!" So the man of God prayed to the LORD, and the king's hand became normal again.
7 Then the king said to the man of God, "Come to the palace with me and have something to eat, and I will give you a gift."
8 But the man of God said to the king, "Even if you gave me half of everything you own, I would not go with you. I would not eat any food or drink any water in this place. 9For the LORD gave me this command: `You must not eat any food or drink any water while you are there, and do not return to Judah by the same way you came.' " 10So he left Bethel and went home another way.
11 As it happened, there was an old prophet living in Bethel, and his sons came home and told him what the man of God had done in Bethel that day. They also told him what he had said to the king. 12The old prophet asked them, "Which way did he go?" So they told their father which road the man of God had taken. 13"Quick, saddle the donkey," the old man said. And when they had saddled the donkey for him, 14he rode after the man of God and found him sitting under an oak tree.
The old prophet asked him, "Are you the man of God who came from Judah?" "Yes," he replied, "I am."
15Then he said to the man of God, "Come home with me and eat some food."
16"No, I cannot," he replied. "I am not allowed to eat any food or drink any water here in this place. 17For the LORD gave me this command: `You must not eat any food or drink any water while you are there, and do not return to Judah by the same way you came.' "
18 But the old prophet answered, "I am a prophet, too, just as you are. And an angel gave me this message from the LORD: `Bring him home with you, and give him food to eat and water to drink.' " But the old man was lying to him. 19So they went back together, and the man of God ate some food and drank some water at the prophet's home.
20 Then while they were sitting at the table, a message from the LORD came to the old prophet. 21He cried out to the man of God from Judah, "This is what the LORD says: You have defied the LORD's message and have disobeyed the command the LORD your God gave you. 22You came back to this place and ate food and drank water where he told you not to eat or drink. Because of this, your body will not be buried in the grave of your ancestors."


it's so hard learning God's still, small voice. it really, truly is. but man, we have to keep persevering and setting aside time daily to listen though. He deserves our time, worship, and respect enough for us to choose Him over t.v., idle talk, etc. i stumble and fall in many ways. i fail. a lot. i have failed in this category. however, i absoultely refuse one day @ a time to let it keep me from getting back up and trying again. for His Name's sake we all have to keep trying & failing, trying and failing. b/c eventually we will try and succeed. we will get better & better @ this vital area of our relationship with our Significant Other and Master.
"I do only what my Father tells me..."
I pray our King would grant us all the strength to keep @ it so that we may run our races with excellence, abide deeply, and be able to say "I do only what my God tells me."

unloading the cars of my stuff
starbucks with marsh
guitar
sunbathing
oh poo...i already miss the kiddos/coyote - this isn't good, it's only day 1
hiding from my sweet little cous
realizing that 1/4 of my support is in- praise God! t-minus 17 days until bro and i depart to TX
making a pact with marsh to read through the bible together and compare notes
bike ride with the broski
sigh of relief...i'll see soon enough why God had me move on from a job i adored
reminiscing of being accepted to seminary a couple years back but feeling pulled towards youth ministry instead for some reason- totally see why now- answers come but are oftentimes in hindsight when it's with God and that's totally alright
want to go to seminary REAL bad again
spaghetti and meatballs with salad curteousy gramps and gma
still wondering how long this newfound hole of needing (or is it just simple wanting?!) a family will last...
unpacking more stuff
talking on the phone with the kids

it's off to michegan tomorrow for a few days. yesssss. large bodies of water to take in, plane rides and chillin with the pops.

i'm sorry, but shawn mcdonalds "ripen" is phenomenal- hello eternal perspective!

Jumping Off the Fence

welp. looks like it's here folks.
the time to end this particular season of sarah marie jensen's life.
marsh and i's cars are officially packed up with my stuff (thanks to the help of a couple great dudes from coyote!-thanks so mucho ya'll!) and ready to hit the road tomorrow afternoon. destination: st. joe, then michegan to visit pops, back to st. joe, then tyler, tx for the DTS bay-bee!
how the hay have i just spent 1/4 of my entire exisitence in columbia, mo.? it's been incredible. every stinkin step of the way. from truly marrying Jesus in january 2001, to finding FOR REAL soul-friends, to leading bible study with some of the most remarkable & lovely ladies ever, to enjoying and ministering to youth who need a new perspective, hope, and reason. every step laid out like a stroke of the Painter. every color chosen for a purpose. every shape and shade with a reason. i think of only one word that sums up an intricate, complicated, deliberate piece of "God's workmanship created in Jesus":
passion.

i am such an open book as far as what God wants to do with my life. i guess things not turning out quite like we thought sometimes sortta has that glorious effect. all the shallow, second-best settling in me gets blown to smithereens by God's love. it's great. the one thing i refuse to do, though is wallow in apathy.
seems to me there's little in life that sucks the color out of things as quickly as apathy does.
and although i am a mere beginner in studying God's fathomless identity and Word, i have thus far found no verses that display Him in the act of apathy. not even once. it's just not there. and i don't want it to be in me, His dwelling place, either.
i want to do whatever He calls me to, whenever and wherever- with passion. no half-hearted fence straddling stuff.

i'm laying myself down on the alter of you
i will no longer hold back
straddling this fence has proven burdensome
Your yoke is only easy if You have all of me.

so i lay myself down on the alter of you,
this day i choose Whom i will serve
i delight myself in You and only You

this complacency and fear is wearing me out,
so tired of being gun-shy of my dreams
casting all i got on You leads only to freedom
fear of anyone or anything but You leaves me in handcuffs and shackles

fences weren't meant to be sat upon,
they divide and force a decision
all my doubting and second-guessing bring no glory to You
i'm seeking you with all my heart and know You'll do Your part
to lead me into all truth
Your voice is so tender and reaches the innermost me
i choose to listen to You alone and step out in faith
i know You'll show up and hold my hand
through all You call me to
You laid it all down for me, help me lay it all down for You.

Faithful Husband, Wayward Wife

i don't know. it's just so insane how long i can run from entering into God's presence fully.
like, to be satisfied with scraps and assume they'll be enough to get me through to the next day when i procrastinate once again and fail to lay before God listening to His strong, gentle, authoritative, sure, and steady whisper in me. He is pleasurable, guiding, fun, and unswervingly there. He always keeps me going no doubt. but man, how quickly i forget that deep calls unto deep and of all that He's given me to taste of Himself, it's only a crumb in comparison to how much more of Him there is.

i miss Jesus. it's wacky how you can do do do for God, and it be truly noble and pleasing to Him day after day, month after month; yet all the while ignore that still, small heart-nudging He does so well when He just wants you to be still sometimes, go to a quiet, lonely place and DO nothing so you can simply BE something. so you can just be His.

i so often miss all the ways He chases and pursues me in the everyday unnoticed miracles, blessings, and reminders that He's here with us. i know most any Christian book on women says they want to be beautiful to & pursued by a man pretty much more than anything else on this planet...EVVVER. and i totally agree. but shnikeys, what person- male or female- DOESN'T want to be chased and looked in the eyes and told there's no other created creature past, present, future who can do to their pursuer's soul what you alone can? to make someone's heart stinkin stop and then race, turn the legs suddenly useless in terror/sheer elation, the brain suddenly more alert and alive/worthless and dumb all in one delightful moment @ the very sight of the object of affection? there's no other high quite like what someone you're head-over-feet for can do to ya.
as far as experiencing all this on the supernatural level with my Ultimate Hubby, this romance and weak knees and sheer all-out delight will never go away or even fade if God has anything to say about it! my Husband is so committed to me and all i do is run off daily- in big ways or in tiny, unexpected, undetected ways...and there He remains, my ever-faithful Savior, Husband, and Friend.

have ya read Hosea lately ladies and gentlemen? i highly suggest it. because that prostituting wife is me. and it's you. i am the town whore to put it as bluntly and real as possible, and God still wants me. i'm runnin after fake gods who steal parts of my heart and thoughts daily if i let them. yet God remains committed to me. furiously committed. married to me, and chasing me, working through me, delighting in me, rejoicing in, screaming, jumping up and down over...you. and over me.
spend time in silence and think about that. often.




Hosea 2:14-20, 3:1-3
"And now, here's what I'm going to do:
I'm going to start all over again.
I'm taking her back out into the wilderness
where we had our first date, and I'll court her.
I'll give her bouquets of roses.
I'll turn Heartbreak Valley into Acres of Hope.
She'll respond like she did as a young girl,
those days when she was fresh out of Egypt.
"At that time"—this is God's Message still—
"you'll address me, 'Dear husband!'
Never again will you address me,
'My slave-master!'
I'll wash your mouth out with soap,
get rid of all the dirty false-god names,
not so much as a whisper of those names again.
At the same time I'll make a peace treaty between you
and wild animals and birds and reptiles,
And get rid of all weapons of war.
Think of it! Safe from beasts and bullies!
And then I'll marry you for good— forever!
I'll marry you true and proper, in love and tenderness.
Yes, I'll marry you and neither leave you nor let you go.
You'll know me, God, for who I really am...
Then God ordered me, "Start all over: Love your wife again, your wife who's in bed with her latest boyfriend, your cheating wife.
Love her the way I, God, love the Israelite people,
even as they flirt and party with every god that takes their fancy."
I did it. I paid good money to get her back..."

A Swell End to a Swell Season

yowzers.
so the family/chunk of Christ's Body- the solid, God-followin, goonie, kid-lovin awesome peeps @ coyote totally surprised me with an adios missouri hola texas and who but God knows where beyond that party tonight.
it was sweet.
dinner, angel food cake/strawberries, and quite possibly one of the tightest evenings ever...worship around a bonfire next to a lake under God's open expanse, and glow in the dark frisbee in the rain later in the night...ahh the sweet life my friends.

pretty good. feeling pretty great and ready for Texas, as hard as it is to leave this chunk o' Heaven on earth.
i'm pumped to see what God's got in store for so many of us in this transition phase. keep walking by God's sight, even if you can only see far enough ahead of you to take 1 tiny step...keep trusting Him with all your hearts and know that He sees everything in front of you, always has.
it's gonna be rockin.

our God is good. praise Him for yesterday, today and forever.

Jeremiah 18
At the Potter's House
1 This is the word that came to Jeremiah from the LORD : 2 "Go down to the potter's house, and there I will give you my message." 3 So I went down to the potter's house, and I saw him working at the wheel. 4 But the pot he was shaping from the clay was marred in his hands; so the potter formed it into another pot, shaping it as seemed best to him.
5 Then the word of the LORD came to me: 6 "O house of Israel, can I not do with you as this potter does?" declares the LORD. "Like clay in the hand of the potter, so are you in my hand..."

Godly fire

praise God for trial seasons. they can be so excruciating and bewildering but my o my are they worth it and beautiful, even if only in hindsight! He is so faithful to cleanse us and prune us; to burn off all the cumbersome sin and rebellion in us that only weighs us down & keeps us from entering into His presence more richly and deeply.
glory to our King for seasons of trying and refining.
here's some things i have only begun to learn and am so grateful God has shown so many of us as we have walked alongside Him in this time of burning of the dross:
random quotes...all from leonard ravenhill-


"The only time you can really say that 'Christ is all I need,' is when Christ is all you have."

"The Bible is either absolute, or it's obsolete."

"How can you pull down strongholds of Satan if you don't even have the strength to turn off your TV?"

"If a Christian is not having tribulation in the world, there's something wrong!"

"Church unity comes from corporate humility."

"You can have all of your doctrines right, yet still not have the presence of God."

"A true shepherd leads the way. He does not merely point the way."

"Why do we expect to be better treated in this world than Jesus was?"

"Maturity comes from obedience, not necessarily from age."

"We must do what we can do for God, before He will give us the power to do what we
can't do."

"You can't develop character by reading books. You develop it from conflict."