Jumping Off the Fence

welp. looks like it's here folks.
the time to end this particular season of sarah marie jensen's life.
marsh and i's cars are officially packed up with my stuff (thanks to the help of a couple great dudes from coyote!-thanks so mucho ya'll!) and ready to hit the road tomorrow afternoon. destination: st. joe, then michegan to visit pops, back to st. joe, then tyler, tx for the DTS bay-bee!
how the hay have i just spent 1/4 of my entire exisitence in columbia, mo.? it's been incredible. every stinkin step of the way. from truly marrying Jesus in january 2001, to finding FOR REAL soul-friends, to leading bible study with some of the most remarkable & lovely ladies ever, to enjoying and ministering to youth who need a new perspective, hope, and reason. every step laid out like a stroke of the Painter. every color chosen for a purpose. every shape and shade with a reason. i think of only one word that sums up an intricate, complicated, deliberate piece of "God's workmanship created in Jesus":
passion.

i am such an open book as far as what God wants to do with my life. i guess things not turning out quite like we thought sometimes sortta has that glorious effect. all the shallow, second-best settling in me gets blown to smithereens by God's love. it's great. the one thing i refuse to do, though is wallow in apathy.
seems to me there's little in life that sucks the color out of things as quickly as apathy does.
and although i am a mere beginner in studying God's fathomless identity and Word, i have thus far found no verses that display Him in the act of apathy. not even once. it's just not there. and i don't want it to be in me, His dwelling place, either.
i want to do whatever He calls me to, whenever and wherever- with passion. no half-hearted fence straddling stuff.

i'm laying myself down on the alter of you
i will no longer hold back
straddling this fence has proven burdensome
Your yoke is only easy if You have all of me.

so i lay myself down on the alter of you,
this day i choose Whom i will serve
i delight myself in You and only You

this complacency and fear is wearing me out,
so tired of being gun-shy of my dreams
casting all i got on You leads only to freedom
fear of anyone or anything but You leaves me in handcuffs and shackles

fences weren't meant to be sat upon,
they divide and force a decision
all my doubting and second-guessing bring no glory to You
i'm seeking you with all my heart and know You'll do Your part
to lead me into all truth
Your voice is so tender and reaches the innermost me
i choose to listen to You alone and step out in faith
i know You'll show up and hold my hand
through all You call me to
You laid it all down for me, help me lay it all down for You.