sunshine. conversations. growth.

wow.
this is gooood.
i havent written posts on this thing 2 days in a row, in like, 2 or 3 years-- yippe skippe!
a monumental event this is folks.

my ywam buddie lynn is crashing with me a couple nites this week whilest i reside in my aunts home in kc. we walked around the plaza today, taking in the perfectly blissful sun, coffee, warmth and humans.
one of these humans was an older gentleman by the name of bob.
bob approached us to ask about a curious sound he heard across the street-- what started out as a solitary question turned into a half-hour conversation on everything from planets & math to doing taxes to his struggle to believe God exists.
and as we were exchanging thoughts, perspectives and hearts with this gentleman, i asked God to simply help us see him how He sees him and asked if there was anything inparticular He'd like to say to him through us.
He spoke some things but then reminded me in His confident and to-the-point, yet gentle and loving way- to share what He put on my heart to share with this man and then to continue to pray but let go and trust Him for the follow through and continued pursuit of this man's life & heart.
then my thoughts went for a sunday drive and meandered for a bit...i got to telling God "but what if there's nobody else in his life who'll tell him about you? what of his heart & soul? what of the reality of eternity? who else will share the Salvation, Hope, Freedom & Love that You are to him and desire for him to walk in alongside You?..."
and He reminded me once more-
do what i ask of you child.
trust Me to do the rest.
if your soul ponders, aches and yearns for his eternity, how much moreso Mine?

so we wrapped up our conversation and lynn and i found a spot to read for a bit.
we took up where i last left off in Acts.
and this is what we stumbled upon:
Acts 26.27-29
" 'king agrippa, do you believe the prophets? i know that you believe.' and agrippa said to paul, 'in a short time you would pursuade me to be a Christian!' and paul said ' whether short or long, i would to God that not only you but also all who hear me this day might become just as i am- except for these chains' "
and God told me again-
"you see, paul threw his entire existence into sharing what He'd found in Me- but he put the ultimate results back upon My shoulders...'whether it takes a short time or long time, i ask God for you...'

1 Corinthians--3:1* "And I, brethren, could not speak unto you as unto spiritual, but as unto carnal, as unto babes in Christ.
2* I fed you with milk, not with meat; for you weren't yet able to bear it: no, not even now are you able;
3* for you are yet carnal: for there is among you jealousy and strife, are you not carnal, and do ye not walk after the manner of men?
4* For when one says, I am of Paul; and another, I am of Apollos; are you not men?
5*What then is Apollos? and what is Paul? Ministers through whom you believed; and each as the Lord gave to him.
6* I planted, Apollos watered; but God gave the increase.
7* So then neither is he that plants anything, neither he that waters; but it's God ALONE that gives the increase [enlarges, grows].
8* Now he that plants and he that waters are one: but each shall receive his own reward according to his own labor.
9* For we are God’s fellow-workers: you are God’s husbandry, God’s building."

it's the seed-planting, the committed/full of faith prayers & intercessions that require the most faith sometimes.
because it means looking to God's face and voice alone and being satisfied completely apart from seeing with our eyes, any sort of outcome in a man or woman's soul.
seems like a real smart system designed by a real smart God.
because it totally, completely and utterly makes a mockery of the idea that the salvation of souls is ultimately up to any of us.

turns out its about the steps of faith, holding His hand ruthlessly and never letting go.
turns out its about being married to Him and NOT to the outcomes of our acts of obedience...

the fog of unknowing.

well friends, since last i wrote the Lord has led me from madison, wisconsin to chicago; back to kansas city for a week or so; then to marion, indiana; then to lexington, kentucky; back to kansas city.
currently i'm oh so thankful to be spending a couple of weeks in kansas city with my sweet cousin ellen while my aunt has a couple weeks to rest in florida & then do some mission work in haiti.

i'm grateful for this time to be with, love, serve, and just plain ol' enjoy my family.
it's also provided some long-yearned-for time to work on music- writing/guitar/vocals/harmonica/piano.
for the last 5 years or so, it seems there's this nearly-never satisfied desire to work on the musical side of life...you know that feeling- the one where there's an ache and pull deep down to do something[s], but the noise, busy-ness and movement of the american lifestyle keeps you just at the threshold of actually acting on the ache...ick.

so i'm attempting to slow down my life enough [and be self-disciplined enough!] to work on music stuff for an hour or two a day whenever possible.
it's quite refreshing for the soul.

the Lord's also been good enough to lovingly kick my booty back into gear as far as being in His Word once again in a committed, disciplined way.
this time around without the false knowledge-hording lacking the desire to re-enact what i read immediately...now, well, lets just say there's a tenacity and craving and child-likeness that He's cultivating in this heart.
He's teaching me ever-more to, to the best of my ability, hold His hand, be guided by the ultimate Guide, taught by the ultimate Teacher, and walk through His Word with Him- then ask how to apply, that very same day, what i've just chewed on with Him.

so, as it turns out...God was quite right, as He always seems to be. :)
life at His side is a relentless Treasure Hunt.
and i may still yet find myself in a haze of unknowing in regards to what my next month or even what my next week may hold...but He is committed and true and oh so steady inside me.
and He is ever-weaning this soul inside my chest from the false hopes, fake peace and shallow thoughts that i have always found so natural, yet never really had an affinity for.

seems He's morphing many of my default-modes once again.

He is Freedom.
and Release.
all Hope is bound up in Him.
and all Peace has one Source alone.

i've got enough.
far more than enough for daily nourishment in Him.