vincent moon. you're a flippin genius.

Love handcuffed to a choice.

One conundrum I've pondered off & on the last 6 years or so in particular is this reality of living in the paradox of knowing, at any given time, if we are found in Christ and Christ is found in us as sons and daughters of God, that we are free to be content/unburdened/whole/secure/soul-rested in God alone always; yet, we need other humans, we need relationships.

We just do.

The following is a little blip of an email from my dear aunt Pam:

"It’s difficult to separate what we want from what God wants for us in each of our relationships. “Genuine indifference to the outcome” is how I want to live every day of my life and that includes all things, relationships among them. When Jesus makes it possible for us to believe that God really has our best interests in mind for every aspect of our lives, it’s possible to just sit back and become an active spectator…Active Spectator...sorry for the oxymoron, but so much of following Christ is paradox and oxymoron."

I really believe with my guts that the paradoxes of life with this Savior are meant not to torment, or leave us "stranded" with our unanswered questions, or to leave us in a state of feeling unsettled. What if these paradoxes of life in relationship and community are a GREAT act of love to provoke us to our lovesick God's side and STAY there. Relationships are, and forever will be on this side of Eternity, full of glory, agony, fun, disappointment, ecstasy, pain, surprise both good and not so good, and outlandish beauty. And we MUST fling ourselves into them, giving our lives and love away as best we know how- not giving in to some goofy mindset that we may somehow "run out of love" if we give away "too much" to others. And what about investing in friendships without the guarantee that those same relationships and heart-friends will always be living life with us in our vicinity, close by.

No, there is no pretty answer, no guarantee to these things. Only the guarantee that the God's kind of love is without limit and He is without any reservation in pouring it through us IF we desire. Daily.

Intimacy, depth of love, and covenant will always be full of paradox. Always. But the thing to meditate on through every up and every down and every moment of numbness is this God. This One that started this whole life & existence thing, the One that spun this planet on it's axis and each human in it's mother's womb for one reason: He longed to share. Share love. Share life. And in our depths we long for the same. We just do. He's a God of not just joy, peace, blessing and love. He is most assuredly completely saturated in those things in His very nature and character. But He is definitely a God of pressure. Of trial. Of paradox. Of provocation. But He provokes because He is compelled to do so by His very nature of love.

So, when, not if, each of us has one of those moments or days (like I just so happen to be having today) where life just seems ick in some ways, when some expectations for how life will roll out before us come crashing into reality head-long...THAT is it. THAT is the GIFT of a moment to let out the Hero, the Brave one that resides in each of us and CHOOSE. Choose to have faith/confidence in this One that willingly rescued us from our abysmal darkness and blindness. Choose to give away that kind of Love that God and each of us perhaps longs for the most:

The kind of love that is handcuffed to a hard choice.

It doesn't come easy, it is not instantly gratifying oftentimes & it is burgeoning with trust in the Person Who is Love itself. This isn't the cute puppies and enjoying someone's presence just when they're happy and chock full 'o life/joy form of love. This is Love handcuffed to a CHOICE, and a harrrrd choice at that sometimes.

If, at any moment, we need an in-the-flesh, outright example of what this looks like, we can and must be still and meditate on this perfectly holy, unblemished, unwrinkled God who decided the right thing to do (not the FAIR thing to do, mind you) would be to come down to our dirty, decaying earth, step inside each of our prison cells, and take our place on death row. Love handcuffed to a choice.

Dear God show me Who you are and what You're like again all over this day. And please give us the strength in You to keep allowing You to carve out more and more and more space inside each of us for Yourself that You may live & move around and love as You alone please. Teach us to be ever-increasingly open-handed, active spectators in our hearts, relationships, longings, work, play, and thoughts...oh make us a people skilled at living in paradox and oxymoron.

With You at our side we are able indeed.

You are mighty good God.

We each know this full well.

You have proven your love time and time and time and time and time again.

You have made the decision to bind Yourself to us in faithfulness.

Teach us, oh teach us to do the same with steadfast hearts brave enough to CHOOSE love. Daily.

Your boundaries are so DAD GUM pleasant!

I. LIIIKE:
Submission.
Spiritual covering.
Accountability.
Real depth/commitment/rawness of friendship.
Covenant.

Boy oh boy, I LIKE THESE.
I AM SO SO SOOOO GRATEFUL FOR THESE.
I LOVE how God designed these boundaries to truly set each of us freeee.

In the same way that water being buzzed through a hose has far more power, & far more directed power than free flowing water just plopping down out of the sky every which way...the boundaries You lovingly set up, or at least long to set up, in each of our lives are GOOD my God. Mighty, mighty good.
The path of least resistance, lone ranger-ness, inbred truth...all these & so much more can be avoided through Your beautiful gift of boundaries and the safety of covenant family.

I LOVE how "faith expressing itself through LOVE" finds an all the more spacious place to roam & express itself in the humility of brotherly/sisterly love in this FAMILY of God.
Oh precious God, THANKS SOOO MUCH for spiritual parents, spiritual bro's & sis'....a FAMILY more legit than just about anything. How quick You are to set us in these deep, powerful, tough but beautiful relationships if we truly long & ask for them.

"LORD, you have assigned me my portion and my cup; you have made my lot secure. The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; surely I have a delightful inheritance." Psalm 16:5-6

Oh God, how I ADORE Your outlandishly loving boundaries.

decisions & family...

But God Told Me ...

http://www.relevantmagazine.com/god/deeper-walk/blog/20138-but-god-told-me-

like this article.
it seems rather balanced in tackling some of the heftier/foundational truths of daily interactions with God and our fellow humans.
i like the emphasis on the value that interactions with our God should be an on-going conversation.
oh God, keep making us a collective people, a Family, humble & confident enough in our identity in You, that we can say from time to time, like the 3 fellows all those years ago who were about to be thrown into a hootenanny hot blazin' furnace, "ya know what? i'm not 100% sure of what i'm doing or where i'm always going or what the point of this current confusion/hardship is or how/if God will show up the way i suppose He will. but you know what else...God really does hold me, hold us. and to the best of my ability, i've attempted to live up to the Truth that i have attained in Him up to today. i've tried my dangdest to be led by the gut-level peace that He alone stirs within my depths that nothing else can touch or take away. i just have..."
and, heck yes, we will still get it wrong sometimes and need to back out of things with love & grace. but SWEET HECK we've been placed in the RAD-EST, most COLOURFUL, WISE, FUN & LOVING Family....EVER. we have wise council, discerning heart-friends & loved ones to help us patiently, trustingly make decisions with our God & eachother.
DANG i love this God.
and DANG i love this Family.

AAAAnd I'll take that burden. Yep, EVERY one. EVERY day. Kay, thanks.

Psalms 55.22 & 1 Peter 5.7 [literal translation of Hebrew]:

"(Cast, cast out, cast away, cast down, cast forth, cast off, hurl, fling, shed) your (care, burden, lot that is given you) onto God and He WILL (contain, feed, sustain, abide, nourish, hold, receive, victual, bear, comprehended) you. He will NEVER let the righteous be (moved, overcome, fall)."

"(Cast, throw) ALL your anxiety onto Him. Why? Because He (cares, is interested in, is concerned) for you."

monks. melodies. meadows.

a lil snippet of my soundtrack for the drive today...


SERIOUSLY y'all.
PLEASE spend some days at a monastery/abbey/convent from time to time if at all possible.

I had SUCH a dreamy time a few days back at Conception Abbey (in Conception, Missouri) hanging out with the monks & their live organ tunes; really being, just BEING, in silence for hours & hours at a time and simply letting this God re-center it all once again...oh when He shows up with His divine plumbline; when He recalibrates all the chaos that can ensue when the eternal being inside me constantly collides with the temporal jungle surrounding it...and does His magic.

I'm so grateful for the reverence and the quiet, brave routine of those living full-blown monastic lifestyles.
God help me continue to implement these life-giving structures/disciplines that make space for greater freedom into my own every day existence.
oh dear me.
really.
so good.
just so, so good.

I'm presently really enjoying this little 122-page gem.
It's written in this ancient form of writing called "sense lines" which helps the reader pause and really ponder certain things without 21st-century-style plowing through.
This collection of thoughts is somethin' else. I find it's already gently but effectively exposing filters I didn't even know I had about this God-Man.

"Most folks think of Jesus
as the man who started Christianity.

But it turns out
he wasn't just a man,
and he didn't just start Christianity.

Most folks think of Jesus
as an other-worldly religious leader,
a great moral teacher,
or maybe they don't think of him at all.

But he had dirty feet,
partied,
cooked breakfast
and got himself killed.

Who was this guy?
Why did people hate him so much?

And why should I care?

Whether you've never looked closely at the Christian faith or you've dismissed it as irrelevant, you owe yourself a glance at a Jesus unencumbered by stereotypes. You might be surprised at what you see..."

me likey.

First Listen: Philip Selway.