Faithful Husband, Wayward Wife

i don't know. it's just so insane how long i can run from entering into God's presence fully.
like, to be satisfied with scraps and assume they'll be enough to get me through to the next day when i procrastinate once again and fail to lay before God listening to His strong, gentle, authoritative, sure, and steady whisper in me. He is pleasurable, guiding, fun, and unswervingly there. He always keeps me going no doubt. but man, how quickly i forget that deep calls unto deep and of all that He's given me to taste of Himself, it's only a crumb in comparison to how much more of Him there is.

i miss Jesus. it's wacky how you can do do do for God, and it be truly noble and pleasing to Him day after day, month after month; yet all the while ignore that still, small heart-nudging He does so well when He just wants you to be still sometimes, go to a quiet, lonely place and DO nothing so you can simply BE something. so you can just be His.

i so often miss all the ways He chases and pursues me in the everyday unnoticed miracles, blessings, and reminders that He's here with us. i know most any Christian book on women says they want to be beautiful to & pursued by a man pretty much more than anything else on this planet...EVVVER. and i totally agree. but shnikeys, what person- male or female- DOESN'T want to be chased and looked in the eyes and told there's no other created creature past, present, future who can do to their pursuer's soul what you alone can? to make someone's heart stinkin stop and then race, turn the legs suddenly useless in terror/sheer elation, the brain suddenly more alert and alive/worthless and dumb all in one delightful moment @ the very sight of the object of affection? there's no other high quite like what someone you're head-over-feet for can do to ya.
as far as experiencing all this on the supernatural level with my Ultimate Hubby, this romance and weak knees and sheer all-out delight will never go away or even fade if God has anything to say about it! my Husband is so committed to me and all i do is run off daily- in big ways or in tiny, unexpected, undetected ways...and there He remains, my ever-faithful Savior, Husband, and Friend.

have ya read Hosea lately ladies and gentlemen? i highly suggest it. because that prostituting wife is me. and it's you. i am the town whore to put it as bluntly and real as possible, and God still wants me. i'm runnin after fake gods who steal parts of my heart and thoughts daily if i let them. yet God remains committed to me. furiously committed. married to me, and chasing me, working through me, delighting in me, rejoicing in, screaming, jumping up and down over...you. and over me.
spend time in silence and think about that. often.




Hosea 2:14-20, 3:1-3
"And now, here's what I'm going to do:
I'm going to start all over again.
I'm taking her back out into the wilderness
where we had our first date, and I'll court her.
I'll give her bouquets of roses.
I'll turn Heartbreak Valley into Acres of Hope.
She'll respond like she did as a young girl,
those days when she was fresh out of Egypt.
"At that time"—this is God's Message still—
"you'll address me, 'Dear husband!'
Never again will you address me,
'My slave-master!'
I'll wash your mouth out with soap,
get rid of all the dirty false-god names,
not so much as a whisper of those names again.
At the same time I'll make a peace treaty between you
and wild animals and birds and reptiles,
And get rid of all weapons of war.
Think of it! Safe from beasts and bullies!
And then I'll marry you for good— forever!
I'll marry you true and proper, in love and tenderness.
Yes, I'll marry you and neither leave you nor let you go.
You'll know me, God, for who I really am...
Then God ordered me, "Start all over: Love your wife again, your wife who's in bed with her latest boyfriend, your cheating wife.
Love her the way I, God, love the Israelite people,
even as they flirt and party with every god that takes their fancy."
I did it. I paid good money to get her back..."