some sun-time.

have had some much-adored time in the sun the last couple days here in florida.
mel & i have taken a few days to meet up with her wonderful parents for a little time away from the mobile life.
i took most of saturday and walked. for hours. and caught up with friends on the phone. and walked. and prayed. and walked. i must've walked like 10 miles...exploring the nearby city & nature trails, spending time on the beach, & people-watching. it was just nice. really, truly nice.
and i got to thinking about some things...

here's some excerpts from my journal entry a couple days ago:
"i am stirred today in repentance to ask You to forgive me for all the times i was not willing to fail. to try. to step out and risk. to stumble- but then get back up again. for the lovesick tenacity and child-like fearlessness and simple risking that i allowed to ebb away slowly over time. You deserve a Wife free, confident, secure enough to try Her best to hear and step out- free of fear, dread, and respect for the future. a Bride that fears and respects and loves You enough to GET UP and try. and GET UP and try. and GET UP again and try...
as my pops said earlier today, so often we try to skip steps in our maturity with God, but the reality is that ever-increasing maturity comes through humility. and oh-so-often real humility comes through trials and failings...
so may i never become protective of my reputation at the cost of forsaking my child-like enamor and preoccupation with my Father's eyes and words.
may i always embrace and fully acknowledge hardship, disappointment, and failings for what they are...a rare, eternal gift. indeed, may all these lead to ever-increasing child-like trust and dependency on God- which leads to Him having a much greater ability to be so strong and evident IN my weakness....let me embrace failure for what it is - a divine, stunning, beautiful, surprising path to success...GREAT success.

in Your eyes."

:)