some current societal "norms" worth questioning indeed...

here's some telling, stirring, chilling & exciting excerpts for you to chew on from a book i'm currently reading...
"The New Conspirators: Creating the Future One Mustard Seed at a Time." by Tom Sine.
goodness friends, this is a book worth picking up, praying in to & acting on.


"here's the problem for a new generation, [esp. those in their 20s & 30s] in a nutshell:
the double whammy of (1.)massive college debt and (2.)significantly higher housing costs seriously limits life options for those who want to make a difference with their lives.
[the cost of private college education has increased forty-fold from $700/year in 1958 to around $30,000 today. BUT the average summer job has only doubled or tripled in value, from $4 to $8-$12/hr. as a result, very few of the baby boomer generation had any college debt because they could easily work their way through college; whereas fully 2/3rds of students in the US today graduate with debts of $17,600-$23,000...not to mention the issue of increasing difficulty to acquire a job even with a college degree...]
research proves that we work far more hours, have less time with our families, are able to save less & less, and are less happy than we were in the 1950's.
in other words, the age shift makes it much more challenging for a new generation to get started and even harder to free up time or money to invest in the work of God's mustard seed conspiracy as an everyday lifestyle. those of us who are older need to help those in four streams [emergent churches, missions, mosaic/creative arts & monastic] and recent grads find innovative ways to meet their essential needs without spending such a large share of their limited resources.

numbers of us in the West have come to see the single-family-detached lifestyle model as the "norm", even though most of our forebears before World War II lived in extended or shared housing arrangements like many of the urban poor still do today. as we race into the twenty-first century, we are facing two conflicting trends. on one hand our global consumer culture and our growing involvement in the cyber world are influencing us to become much more individualistic. on the other hand, the cost of our individualistic lifestyle models is becoming increasingly more expensive than many will be able to afford. as a consequence, growing numbers of us will be pressured to consider shared and cooperative lifestyle models for economic reasons.

frankly, i think it is time for middle-class Christians to reexamine our love affair with our individualistic lifestyles and explore community and cooperative based models. these could enable us to more authentically embody the values of our faith, provide a bit more economic security, and reduce our costs so that we have more time and money to invest in the work of God's new order"

well said lawrence. well said.

"All men dream, but not equally.Those who dream by night in the dusty recesses of their mind wake in the morning to find that it was vanity. But the dreamers of the day are dangerous people, for they dream their dreams with their eyes open and make them true." - Lawrence of Arabia

upside down, inside out Kingdom. LOVE it. well, learning to.

oh Father.
make us a people free to be ourselves in You.
wildly free to celebrate the celebrations of others.
students of your presence. your words.
cultivating friendships in the beautiful bonds of commitment, not for what we can get out of them.
declaring & loosing on earth that which belongs in your Kingdom.
tying up & throwing out the things that do not.
learning to worship in Spirit & Truth--i.e. with ALL our being, at ALL moments- body and soul. and according to Truth- to choose to "only live up to that which we've each already attained" of the Truth, the Light you've given each of us thus far in our journeys alongside you.
make us free to worship unselfishly & undistracted. free to make you the be-all end-all, never a means to an end.
you ARE the end. the substance. the beginning. the finality.
thank you that you are ALWAYS up to more planning & scheming than i'll ever give you credit for. you are always up to FAR more pursuing of mankind & of me than i'll ever be able to return to you.
but this thrusts me, moves me, compels me to look at this tiny vapor of a life as my jar of nard to pour out- if i may somehow at least attempt to give all of myself- mind soul body being- back to you. through my thoughts, my choices, my songs, my acts. my hopes. my words. the thousands of small choices to believe and act on truth & in love every single day.
where your cloud stops, we'll stop.
where your peace inside us rests, we'll rest.
every invitation of weird secrets you share with us about total strangers, we will accept, agree with and act on.
we are of those who are aware of times & seasons, and therefore are more able to live FULLY ALIVE in each moment set before us daily.
may we never compare our individual paths with so much as one other human- but we shall be utterly giddy over our own paths with you.
why?
because you have painstakingly created & dreamed up this specific path of intimacy & friendship with me, with us.
i refuse to spit on it, spit on you by saying its not good enough & comparing.
You know what You're doing. and you have a plan. always.
i long for you. this longing inside me tells me daily that i was fashioned for another place. a place that is always closer than we think. closer with each passing day.
i love tears, they are investments that always yield a return in your Kingdom.
i love laughter, it is always healing and strengthening.
i make my agreements with you daily God.
because i will always make them with somebody.
always.
i say no to hell, to lies, to accusations always knocking on my door.
hell may be obsessed with accusations, not You.
not me, i pray.
we are all in this thing together. no "us" vs. "them"
some of us aware of the utter glory we carry about inside us, some yet unaware.
some of us have found the Home & get the sheer joy of being that "welcome Home" mat to all those around us. ALL those around us.
we are all the prodigal.
we are all the older brother.
we all are called by a never-before-spoken name...may all of us get the chance to stand alone before Jesus & hear it escape His lips some sweet day.
the only way we ever lose in this temporary life is to stop risking; to tell our hearts 'you can only love this much & no more'; to cheat our God, ourselves & others by believing the lie that we can live our lives on our own, lone ranger style, for so much as a moment.
the whole Vine & Branches thing. God meant that.
we're all on a royal setup- a magnificent conspiracy of Love.
only the servant leads.
only the humble really love.
only the eternal really lasts.
only the child-like matures.
the fire & pain deepens.
the hope unseen, REAL hope.
this world appears to spin madly on, but we are never without a choice in how we spend our days.
its the secret history with God, forged in the closet that lasts & that can never be snatched away in the least.
if you're unsure about the path you're walking, but choosing to jump up & down with glee about Who's walking with you; if you are prone to look side to side & compare yet give God your weak, broken 'yes' to believe Truth & focus on His eyes instead; if you fail & fall & act selfishly & get distracted yet get back up again & lean into the Source of all strength & love, well, kudos.
you are a raging success.
a RAGING success my friend.

UK bay-bayyyyy

sweeeet willie i am LOVING this month in the UK my friends.

its been wildly perfect & feels super planned out by God.

new kindred-hearted friendships have been forged; time resting with one of my closest friends done well; and time exploring the wild beauty of ireland & scotland as well as the buzzing citylife of beautiful london & paris has been soaked on up.

i was certainly not finding myself chomping at the bit to return back to the states. if it werent for all the humans i love in the ol US of A, it'd probably make more sense to just move over here for a wee bit o time.

i especially fell head over feet for Dublin & London and rather feel as though I could move to either city with virtually no culture shock :) the personality/humor/colour/fashion/food fare, etc. of especially Dublin and London, felt so "home-y" to me.

enjoy a bit o' my trip via pictures:

my dear, lovely close crystal friend. we're waiting on our bus from Loch Ness back to Inverness, Scotland.

our FUN/neat/quality dublin housemates.

A lifelong dream come true: Loch Ness Monster hunting in Scotland...ahhhhh!!!

the Substance.

a little blurp from the most recent song i've written:

oh all the carrots this rabbit chases
round & round we go
when in the end, once theyre caught
lose most their appeal, well maybe all

oh all the wind i try to lay hold of
just when its in my grasp
i long for it no more, alas,
perhaps i'll find what i'm lookin for next go around

chorus-
oh i've fallen again. i've fallen again
for the thrill of the chase
i've fallen again i've fallen again
for the mirage
and all the while, and all the while, there you are
just waitingggg,
watchingggg,
fighting for meeee,
yeah you're fighting for me

oh all the carrots this rabbit chases
round & round & round we go
when in the end, once theyre caught
lose most their appeal, well maybe all

chorus-

oh all i crave, all i need
i find it's been right here,
right in front of me
could it get any more obvious
this earth has nothing i desire
but you, but you
nothing my hands can touch,
no nothing my eyes can see-
hold what You do for me

chorus-

so i resolve today,
and every other day
to remember, i'm gonna remember
nothing i'm really searching for is found outside me
but within...oh here you are
right. here. alll thisss time.

each of us carries the testimony in our lives of the Lord being ever so graciously committed to our freedom. for as long as i can remember [and for longer than i can remember] He is always, always taking off layers of the onion, always revealing the real version of me...i think He only ever sees the "truest version" of ourselves- but just by simply living life, that truest version of ourselves as He sees us can and does get mucked up with different crappy experiences that life can throw at us, etc, affecting the way we each see ourselves- but never really affecting the person He sees when He looks @ us.

so He''s always fighting for us and peeling off the muck, revealing that truest version...daily. and this song is just addressing the lie in our hearts that what we're looking for, all of us that comprise this human race, is found outside us- that we must spin madly on searching, seeking for something or someone to make us feel "more alive" or "happier" or "more whole", etc.
oh how i do long to daily allow the Lord to expose the deception of the carrot dangling in front of my face...that just one more endeavor, just one more relationship, just one more ministry opportunity, just one more child, just one new car, etc will ever make any of us feel "different" or "complete".
all in this life is only a mirage of the ultimate reality. the ultimate Substance is...Him. and Him alone.

in this Creator, this Ultimate Initiator, this Pure Love, there is not so much as a tiny shadow of turning...not so much as any darkness or variation at all. He is the fullness. the substance. the ultimate. all else is merely an incomplete glimpse/shadow/hint/mirage of a greater reality meant to draw us to Him...this is good. very, very good. so long as we allow the mirage/shadow/glimpse to thrust us up higher into the Substance. so long as we don't stop & glorify even the very good things of life. because the very good things of life are only prodding us to turn again & again to our God. may none of the shadows of our life steal His all-deserving praise dear friends.

so let this God of pure, all-out Love reveal each of our carrots. and may we each be brave enough to let them be exposed for what they are in our lives...simply means to an end.
Him.

no more carrots- just the Reality, the Substance, please :)

ahhh PEACE.

feast on this Strong's Concordance definition for the Greek word "peace" :

a) exemption from the rage and havoc of war

2) peace between individuals, i.e. harmony, concord

3) security, safety, prosperity, felicity,

4) of the Messiah's peace

a) the way that leads to peace (salvation)

5) of Christianity, the tranquil state of a soul assured of its salvation through Christ, and so fearing nothing from God and content with its earthly lot, of whatsoever sort that is

6) the blessed state of devout and upright men after death

7) to set at one again."

whoa whoa whoa.

did you catch all those? like really bathe in them? i hope so :)

especially that last one there, "to set at ONE again."

i believe some blindfolds have been taken off my face in the last several weeks specifically in the arena of the chaos, noise, constant movement, distraction & myriad choices of our technologically driven microwave-society that we in this generation have come to know as "normal".

i can feel it, i'm sure we all can feel it...when that dreaded sense of our simplicity, our focus, and our deep, abiding soul rest starts to slowly [oftentimes unknowingly] leak out from us. it's as though we've all got some umbilical cord connected to technology [i.e. phones, facebook, email, chat, etc.]

although all this technology indeed has such enormous amounts of positive aspects, i reckon it's SOO vital to take stock periodically and discern whether technology is serving us.

or whether we are slaves to it.

because it will mean a slow, steady death to our souls if we allow it.

i've felt the Holy Spirit gently nudge me every-so-often to pray instead of text friends in those free moments while waiting for the bus.

or to meditate on a couple Truths while i'm waiting for a friend at a coffee shop instead of checking my email. again.

or perhaps to deny my striving soul's desire for distraction & movement [an oftentimes false feeling of "productivity" or "achievement"] and make the brave choice to sit in complete silence & solitude when i'm already feeling particularly lonely...hoping against all hope that my moment of lonliness will be met overabundantly by my all-knowing Creator, and not by anyone or anything else.

"Wait on the Lord. Trust in the Lord. Be encouraged. And WAIT on the Lord...in Him alone is all our hope"

and what does wait mean but to:

stay. tarry. remain. stick around for a while. stop. halt. say "no" to some things, perhaps MANY things [especially the GOOD things sometimes] so that we can more fully give our "yes!" to other, far more valuable, BEST things.

if we can only make it through that initial soul scream that says "but i don't want to feel that question again deep in my soul. i don't want to feel that initial tinge of lonliness. i don't want to be still only to feel & hear nothing..."

oh God, make us brave.

help us make that choice to wait on You alone. daily.

to be still & quiet our hearts and minds...giving Him alone our "yes!" knowing that, in one way or another, He will indeed meet us. EVERY STINKIN TIME. in one way or another.

because He alone knows us perfectly. and sees us constantly. and has walked every step of life with us. no one else can stake claim to that kind of intimacy with YOU my friend. no one else.

may that gut-level Peace that nothing and no one can give us or take from us be guarded with all we got. every day. by whatever means possible, even when it may appear we're being "too serious" or "fanatical."

it's worth it.

'cause He's worth it.

BAM.

"a master in the art of living draws no sharp distinction between his work and his play; his labor and his leisure; his mind and his body; his education and his recreation. he hardly knows which is which. he simply pursues his vision of excellence through whatever he is doing, and leaves others to determine whether he is working or playing. To himself, he always appears to be doing both."

- Francois Auguste Rene Chateaubriand

He GETS us. like, REALLY gets us...and is worth ALL our trust. ALL.

so i've been asking for the humanity of Jesus to be so real and raw to me that it blows me away. and wrecks me. and messes stuff up real gooood :)
again & again & again.
below are some recent thoughts, questions, lessons this Teacher's been so kind and fun as to provoke within me...

i was sitting at a starbucks the other day. i wanted to study. so i picked up where i left off in matthew 14...

Matthew 14:1-14
"At about this time, Herod, the regional ruler, heard what was being said about Jesus. He said to his servants, "This has to be John the Baptizer come back from the dead. That's why he's able to work miracles!"Herod had arrested John, put him in chains, and sent him to prison to placate Herodias, his brother Philip's wife. John had provoked Herod by naming his relationship with Herodias "adultery." Herod wanted to kill him, but he was afraid because so many people revered John as a prophet of God.But at his birthday celebration, he got his chance. Herodias's daughter provided the entertainment, dancing for the guests. She swept Herod away. In his drunken enthusiasm, he promised her on oath anything she wanted. Already coached by her mother, she was ready: "Give me, served up on a platter, the head of John the Baptizer." That sobered the king up fast. Unwilling to lose face with his guests, he did it—ordered John's head cut off and presented to the girl on a platter. She in turn gave it to her mother. Later, John's disciples got the body, gave it a reverent burial, and reported to Jesus. When Jesus got the news, he slipped away by boat to an out-of-the-way place by himself..."

and it hit me. REALLY hit me...
if Jesus has indeed "been tempted in EVERY way" as we are, have been, or ever will be, as a member of this human race; that MUST include the huge temptations to doubt, fear, discouragement, anger, and disappointment that are naturally aroused when we are not able to see the "big picture" at times my friends.
and here's John the Baptist- the one who leapt in his mom's belly as a fetus when Jesus' mom simply walked in the room...at the very sound of Jesus' mom's voice John's mom has this wild Holy Spirit encounter and baby John flips his lid, too.
John- the one of whom the verses of the Old Testament wrap up with [Malachi 4:5-6] for crying out loud. the one of whom the Old Covenant announces will usher in the New Covenant.
history. Jesus & John Boy had a history together, ya know?
and i wonder. if Jesus only knew what the Father decided to share with Him as fully God AND fully man walking around on this earth- and if He was "tempted in every way" as we are [including the temptation to doubt/misunderstand when we are not privy to seeing the entire picture God is painting] well, i wonder if He knew.
did He fully see what was coming with John?
it says He immediately "slipped away to be by Himself" when He got the news.
and not only did John not stay alive and continue to minister powerfully alongside Jesus in this seemingly "pivotal", not to mention, short time span of an only 3-year-long time period of Jesus' public ministry, he also seemed to die in a rather "needless" or "frivolous" way...
a king, King Herod, gives in to a serious man-fearing spirit at a party where he'd probably had too stinkin much to drink; and next thing ya know he's made a careless promise to some prancing daughter of a blood-thirsty woman who's committing adultery on her husband with this King Herod, who in turn sends her daughter to make a disgusting request for John's head on a platter.

and so i wonder if part of Jesus, in His humanity, was looking forward to having John around for all of His years of ministry here on earth.
What if Jesus found a bit of a "soul friend" or kindred spirit in John the Baptist?
as earthly friends go, did He perhaps feel most "understood" by John?
did He expect to have him as a bit of a long distance "running mate" for His earthly days?
was it super hard for Jesus to believe that this is WHEN John's life was supposed end? and in the awful, seemingly shallow WAY it was ended?
it just got my mind reeling with the possibility that this Jesus of ours not only knows ABOUT the challenges of being a human, but has WALKED THROUGH all the junk, confusion, hardship that we walk through as we wrestle daily with what God's sovereignty really looks like played out in our daily lives...
so whether or not He saw it coming; whether or not He majorly wrestled with some horrific feelings of letdown and disappointment...either way, He knew where to go IMMEDIATELY to get proper perspective, hope, vision, & peace.
i pray we are all so quick to stop our constant "doing" when He beckons us, in order to just BE with our God.

welp, i realize the above are all questions that will have to wait until i have the chance, some sweet day, to have a coffee date with my God :)
but, until then, i think it's good, REAL good, to at least attempt to dive into the Word holistically- in all it's layers, in all it's history, in it's minute, unspoken (yet somehow screamed in the place of quietness/stillness) secrets, details, & implications that only the true seekers will ever find.
and mostly, to never ever forget that THE Word is...a Person.
oh God give us ever-increasing appetite and craving for Your Word, for Truth...for YOU.
help me not fear the simplicity of opening up Your Word & simply asking the Best Teacher ever to show me the way through It...

and i've noticed that the Word and Truth are indeed not just 1 dimensional. they're 3 dimensional, ya know? multi-layered... full of paradoxes... not ho-hum or easy or comfortably filed away in some box. it's definitely breathing, living, alive.
it's the only fully ALIVE book i've ever read.

i'm so grateful for this.
and i'm oh so grateful all over again recently that our God-Man Savior, Intercessor (He only prays PERFECT prayers for us!), Sympathetic High Priest REALLY, TRULY has gone before us in ALL ways. to the fullest measure possible. [hebrews 4]
of all the gods i've ever studied, He is the only One i've ever found that only asks of His followers the sort of love, lifestyle, obedience, and sacrifice that He walked in before us. haven't been able to find another that only asks of us what He's already proved with His life is possible- to live wrapped in flesh- 100% humanity- yet 100% in unity with the Father.

wow. oh wow. oh wow...
this "lay-it-ALL-on-the-line" kind of Love, this ALL-IN Love given without the guarantee of getting any love, respect, understanding, or attention back is stirring me again. and again. and making me uncomfortable (in a GREAT way!) again.
and i reckon that's precisely what it's supposed to do :)

it's the kind of love that just simply makes more sense than fear.
it's the sort of risk that matters and shifts the earth- despite what the outcome may be.
it's the kind of guts that Jesus modeled so rawly, eloquently and empathetically.
[1 john 4]

and He deserves the same reciprocated back to Him.
now. today. tomorrow. next month. forever.
may our Husband-in-waiting get the Bride He deserves in us on that WILD wedding day that is sure to come...

more than ever, i'm aware of this: i don't know much, my friends.
but THIS i AM convinced of more than ever before- this God is worth running all-in, all-out, every minute for.
He's worth "stirring up our souls" every minute of every day. He's deserving of our offering our immense Light, Joy, Enthusiasm, Peace, Life, & Love to all who are blessed to cross paths with the Jesus inside us just naturally spilling out onto them :)
and our pursuit of Him will never, ever come close to His pursuit of us.
and any emotion, full-of-lifeness or passion we each have endowed to us to steward is just a mere fraction of what this Man carries in His chest.

so here's my aching desire & prayer for us friends--
may He continually become more alive, breathing, full of color and emotion to you, this Man.
may we all remember daily that He's worth us remembering, today & every other day, that "everything is a loss when we compare it with the all-surpassing greatness of truly, deeply KNOWING CHRIST Jesus our Lord, for whose sake we have lost all things. That we'd consider them rubbish, trash, nothing, that we may gain Christ and BE FOUND...found where?? IN HIM! eek! not having a righteousness of our own that we try to conjure up by trying to "look like Jesus" or whatever...but that we'd simply daily remember- we're already dead! GA-LOR-RAYYY! our right standing with God will never ever come from the law, but only through believing in Christ—the righteousness that comes from God alone and is by faith alone. that daily, above ALL, we would most desire to want to KNOW CHRIST and the power of his resurrection and the fellowship of sharing in his sufferings, BECOMING LIKE HIM in his death..." [phil 3]

may you allow yourself the space and time to remember this day, week, month, year-- that YOU are one of the army of those who are swimming neck deep in Christ's finished, perfect, changes EVERYTHING work of grace
:)

be still. and truly know.

i've had the sheer joy and gift of conversation with some rather neat perfect strangers lately.
there's something in me that's sparked and ignited by meeting new humans.
i think it's the reality that when i come face-to-face with a never-before-met human i am no less than coming face-to-face with a Glory-carrier. i have the chance to no less than experience a piece of my God's creativity & beauty & personality...
if someone is human than they are no less than created in God's image. period.
they are literally a "mirage...a likeness...a resemblance" of God.
whether they are aware of it our not.
and it is one of our highest honors, and one of our greatest responsibilities i believe, to show other humans who they are because of Who made.
to share with them this eternal I AM Who loves with no less than an infinite, eternal love.
they, by their very God-given nature, have been loved, are loved, and will forever be loved.

i believe this so deeply. i really do.
and along these same lines, i just last week felt Him challenge me to institute a new personal daily discipline...i like to call it a new daily "rhythm" :)
He challenged me to take 30-60 minutes every day, whenever at all possible, to just BE.
to simply LAY before Him...and just remember...daily..."i am His. and He is mine. we are the work of His hands. and in the beginning...was Him and only Him..." this Triune God.
He did not spin this world into being because He was sitting around bored twiddling His thumbs, in need of some new hobby to occupy His infinite time.
we are not brought into this world to resemble some large version of hamsters just running, running, running in our own little hamster wheels so He can sit back & watch.
oh no friends. no no no.

I really felt His loving urge to take this daily 30-60 minutes to not even read or converse with Him on behalf of other...not even engaging in these VERY good and VERY right activities.
the urge from Him was straightforward, simple, and profound.
I was to simply BE with Him.
and daily remember that it is His world. and His heart is for us. and He is indeed working & toiling & intimately infused into every part of it.
and, yes, He indeed formed us to do every moment of every day WITH Him...to co-labor with Him and operate out of what He calls reality- the finished work of Jesus.
we are the ones- the called out, set apart ones. we are the ever-increasing army of Love advancing His perfect, right, true, eternal Kingdom.
"but we are HIS."
"the work of His hands."
and we indeed "have no good apart from Him" and "can do nothing apart from Him."

and, it's in these times of "being still before Him" of ceasing any & all striving [even the redeemed, disciplined, good striving :) ], that my soul finds deep, replenishing rest.
and it is in these times that I remember- no matter how much of His beautiful heart [or how much of the burdens of His heart, too] that He is kind enough to share with me...no matter what situation or confusion or dissapointment or disillusionment may come our way...
He indeed is on His throne.
and He indeed is not only good...but His is strong.
His eyes indeed "range throughout the whole earth searching out those whose hearts are fully committed to Him...that He may act on behalf of those who love Him wholeheartedly..."

and we are free to just BE, friends.
and we are free to be who He created each of us to be at our very core...
HIS.




"to return to the simplicity of Eden means to be utterly free of self-focus, possible rejection, and perceived pain or shame...the finished work of Jesus returns us to the simplicity of being children totally free to love and give and receive in our Father's world...
HIS.

some new pictures...some new words.

with my dear allie pile. she's a bonafide little sis to me. i had the joy of experiencing new york city for the first time ever last month.
in this picture: al and me. in harlem.

at Robert Morris University near Pittsburgh, PA last month...there's a WILD story to go along with this here baptism picture...read below for details :)

there's also a story to go along with this here picture...
suffice it to say it just involves getting unknowingly stranded a few days ago in the Californian mountains. in a blizzard.
getting stranded ain't so bad when you've got a fun co-stranded-companion though.

the view from my ma's home.
a.k.a my abode currently, too.
she has like the city's largest tree in her backyard.
and this tree has these GREAT little ornament thingys on it.

i LOVE being with my family right now.
it's pretty eye opening to be around my ma, especially...
it's all becoming so very clear where i get some of my quirkiness and hippie-ness from :)

one of my best, dearest friends, dia...well, she has an additional progeny.
a fine, strapping little man.
welcome to earth william.
i like you soooo much.
oh man. congrats Christian & D.
good job making such a beautiful human.

And now...for some more words, thoughts, etc. to get you in my head a bit more.

Here's most of my latest newsletter...enjoy!

Well friends, first of all, I’m a bit stunned here that’s it’s already been almost 6 months since I last sent an update your way. Year 2009 has been wildly full of the Lord’s goodness, nearness, and transformation. It really, truly has. One of the myriad of realities that I’ve been struck anew with this year is this: this God King of ours longs to mark each of His kids with His tangible presence, peace and joy in every moment, situation, thought, and longing of each of our lives. I find Him utterly drenching with His Presence, not just “ministry times” or times set aside for “outreach”, but- & it’s a work He is doing all over the earth- He’s spilling into all our minutes & days with His beautiful Self. In fact, here in my hometown, He’s showing up. [Boy o boy it sure seems that if we can be fully true to ourselves and love well in our hometowns, with our own families, the empowerment to love others elsewhere is increased.] Just last week- my mom felt like God had given her a ‘sense’ to go to a particular thrift store for some reason. So we head that way of course and, no joke, once we’re at the thrift store, this old woman walks past me & says, totally out of the blue, “my foot REALLY hurts today.” So she got some prayer and love from our healing, loving God and I got to brag on

our good, fun God a bit :)

the last six months…

So this is where I presently find myself friends. Loving life.

In awe all over again at just how relevant, active and intertwined with the affairs of men our God is. He is much, much too large and loving to remain within the four walls of any given church building. I am utterly consumed with the reality that His Good News is indeed JUST that for every single member of humanity. It’s News that we were always meant to live this life WITH God. In a divine partnership & romance with the one & only Perfect Love, Perfect Strength and Perfect Wisdom.

I have had the honor and joy of continuing to minister occasionally on college campuses still. Most recently I met up with some ministry friends to travel and connect with students on several campuses near Pittsburgh, PA for 10 days last month. And what God proceeded to do there still feels like a dream honestly. He utterly showed off J. Our very first night together, we were invited by students to a campus bible study at Robert Morris University. Long story short, the Holy Spirit showed up in splendor and a re-enactment of Acts 2 unfolded right before our eyes among this group of hungry college students. God’s tangible Presence, prophecy, healings, etc. went forth for a couple hours. Towards the end of our evening my friend Lindsay starts sharing stories of past baptisms on campuses around the nation this year, and a couple girls chime in, “Hey! We just became Christians last week and we haven’t been baptized yet! We want to be baptized! Can we be right now?!” The answer, of course, to that question was “YES!”

So an entire group of us starts marching across campus to some dorm showers. Along the way, we see a handful of guys and gals just smoking and chatting outside a dorm. “What are you guys doing tonight?” asks one of us. “Oh just hanging out” they reply. “Well, we’re about ready to go baptize some new Christians…wanna come?!” They look at us with this confused, yet wildly curious expression and say “Yes.” So they all come along, too. Once we’re there, 4 students total are baptized that night and a worship service of unified thankfulness and adoration to God breaks out.

I am still in touch with many of the amazing college students that I’ve met over the last many months and am almost DAILY hearing from them about miracles, healings, and salvations that continue to break out on their campuses and in their cities…this Loving God King of ours is most assuredly establishing His Kingdom all around us friends. Every day. And He invites us to be a part of it. And for this I am wildly humbled and insanely thankful.

what's next...

I am absolutely soaking up this extended time with my family and old friends back home near Kansas City, MO. I will continue to substitute teach and travel occasionally as ministry opportunities arise. I absolutely love collaborating with different dear friends of mine- all active with different ministries- yet all with the same deep soul-longing and calling to see God’s Presence utterly invade every last nook and cranny of every sphere of out society- whether Education, Media, Business, Family, etc.

I am so very keenly aware of the awakening that is stirring in this beautiful country of ours. Please feel free to check in from time to time on my friends’ website at campusamerica.org for non-stop stories of the release of Heaven on the campuses of our nation. I pray this awakening and the new, raw, massive craving for the Eternal & Miraculous & True only exponentially increases and we are awakened over & over again to Reality according to our Maker. I believe so very deeply in the youth of our nation and long to continue to spill out my days and years into the arising army of youth and 20-somethings that are lovesick and fascinated by God alone. I am freshly reminded of this deep reality: where the youth of a nation go- eventually the nation goes.

Welp, I continue to be impacted & greatly encouraged by what the Lord’s doing at Bethel church out in Redding, CA [check out some of their amazing podcasts @ ibethel.org]

But I am perhaps even more excited to have seen with my own eyes this year, that little “Bethels” are springing up ALL OVER our very nation and all over the entire earth friends. The sweetness of His Self and Presence somehow seems even more accessible in recent days. In fact, right in my own backyard @ the International House of Prayer [IHOP] here in Kansas City, God is doing a brand new work of INCREDIBLE things…please take a few moments and check it out @ ihop.org.

Ahhh the distance between Heaven and Earth seems wildly thin these days, friends. Wildly thin.

Love and appreciate each of you more than you know,

smj.

some good old fashioned soul weaning.

i'm ever-increasingly astonished at the beauty of our Lord's activity in each of our lives.
what a redeemer and restorer He truly is. I've found Him to be quite obsessed with redemption and restoration, really.

it floors me how kind it is of Him to lead each of our lives on a unique path with Himself.
no two humans will ever walk the exact same path from start to finish with this Creator. and that's just a stunningly beautiful picture of His amazing jealousy for each of us i think... He alone gets to share it ALL with each of us. daaaang...
and He's so jealous for the unique treasures and beauties He has placed within each of His beloved humans.

i especially have grown fond of His wisdom and kindness in the realm of leading each of our souls into being "weaned" unto Him alone [ psalm 131.2]. i've seen His handiwork over and over again in this realm- in my life and in the lives of the ones i love most.
He has a neato way of leading us each through various seasons...and each season seems to have it's own unique areas of further soul-weaning that happen.

WEAN 1 |wēn|
verb [ trans. ]
accustom (an infant or other young mammal) to food other than its mother's milk.
• accustom (someone) to managing without something on which they have become dependent or of which they have become excessively fond...
• ( be weaned on) be strongly influenced by (something), esp. from an early age.

without a doubt we are each creatures made to worship.
we become rather 'excessively fond', easily obsessed or addicted... sometimes without even knowing it or really facing it. and it is not hard for any one of us to meditate, either. it's just a matter of WHAT or WHO we're meditating on.
we all meditate on something[s]. we just do. it's in our very nature to worship and meditate.
and it's God's extravagant kindness to free us from the lesser gods. to free each of us from our lesser thoughts/meditations.

and the real challenge in these unique-to-each-season areas of soul-weaning is to be FULLY ALIVE.
to EMBRACE wholeheartedly each area of soul-weaning and to not try to numb it. or escape it. or deny it. or delay it.
to stubbornly grab hold of His hand and refuse to ever let go or wander off in the slightest.
to LET the Spirit bring things to the surface of our souls- in His ways, in His timing.

so whether each of us seems to be in a season of mostly ease or enjoyment; or whether our hearts feel as though they are in a sprint and loosing steam fast, being stretched and challenged...we know all we really need to know to keep us going:
He is GOOOOD.
and He is RIGHT HERE with us.
oh me oh my.
to be fully alive is His inheritance for us.
and that means being fully, utterly, completely alive in every moment of every day.

because He. is. HERE.
and without a doubt, without so much as a single doubt...He is the most deserving, satisfying, fun Person to be weaned unto :)

some visuals of my current home...

*the downtown of st. joseph, missouri-- i love trying to imagine all the hustle-bustle that once occupied all those cool buildings and brick roads...some of them as old as the early 1900's.




*pumpkin patchin with my beautiful ma.





*an amazing array of colorful chairs i found @ the pumpkin patch...unfortunately they weren't for sale.




*an evening drive in the country with ma.


gosh this gift of family/friend time...
this gift of sub teaching/working with youth again...
the brand new things God's been bringing to life in this city, in my family, in my heart...
SOOO GOOD.

a prayer.

welp it's most assuredly been getting colder out.
for as long as i can remember, there've been a couple things that energize me like no other--
1.meeting/laughing with/enjoying/learning about humans.
&
2.being outside- particularly on warm days...i heart the sun. like... a LOT.

but going along with a current thread that God has been kind enough to lead me on in the last couple years in particular...is this theme of digging in. really being stubborn about soaking up every single last bit of Life & Joy & Good that absolutely every given situation, person, environment, season, or experience has to offer.
because if i believe that God is in fact only a Truth-teller and not a liar, then it only makes sense that i grab hold of His hand & look Him in the eyes & ask daily for the strength to abide & daily believe that when He said "NEVER will I leave you. NEVER will i walk away from you." that He really meant it. that He really, really, really meant it.
and that it's a promise that applies to every moment of every day.
and when He also said He "will fulfill His purposes for me" He meant it not as the icing on some perfect cake...but as very hope in the midst of hopelessness. as the very substance of what we set our feet on in the difficulties, confusion, and, perhaps one of the toughest curve balls that life sometimes throws our way-- yes, even smack dab in the 'treachery of the mundane' & the "keep on keeping on" of longsuffering and patience.

and when we know these two things- that HE. IS. HERE. always.
and that no matter how much "His ways are far above our ways & understanding"...no matter how long we seem to be "waiting" for a promise...that He is indeed the ultimate Steward- stewarding every hour of our lives, leading us PERFECTLY into His PERFECT plans for every single one of us.

and so, even now, in regards to the various "cares" or questions that each of us may be learning to give to God...and with the couple things that energize me mucho- humans & warm outdoors...currently i find myself perhaps not surrounded by swarms of my friends living in the same city with me like i'm usually accustomed to- and they are instead scattered all over the earth right now in this season. and perhaps i am daily having to pray that God help me see just something, anything, good & pleasant about this cold, gray, sunless winter speedily approaching us, well i trust.
because there are obviously FAR bigger crises and FAR deeper needs & longings being felt by others right this very moment.
and because i know this God.
and boy oh boy is He amazingly loving AND wise.
and THAT my friends is a swell combo.

at least during this chilly time of year there's swarms & swarms of squirrels out gathering and planning and preparing to brace themselves for the coming cold season.
MAN...i love squirrels.
so there.
i've already discovered one upside to the cold...
:)

the external or internal props?

hi.
welp...i sure am relishing this little season my Father has been kind enough to give me.
it's a season of a lot of rather beautiful 1-on-1 time with Him. it's a season with tons of face to face family time. and it's a season of rawly looking God & myself in the eyes- of really having the space/time to recognize & process at a whole new level Who He is, who He's made me to be & and what i REALLY value.
and, to be frank, it's rather uncomfortably eyeopening to see just how i'll spend my days when there's not a whole lot of structure/schedule in place nor is there a strong community of kindred hearts surrounding me on all sides as there typically has been the last few years.
VERY eyeopening.
and i adore it. greatly.
ALSO. i have my own bedroom & bathroom. i've not tasted of that goodness in over 3 years. so that's rather NEAT and APPRECIATED. thanks God :)

i've not been home for more than a few days or a few weeks in many years.
and now after having been home for the last 3 months, i am STILL astonished at just how much my God has changed me the last many years. the myriad of humans & different personalities; the wide variety of situations & stressors & joys; the experiences i've shared with my Lord have no less than formed me.

and i'll tell you something...there's an even greater solidifying in Who i know Him to be; in who i know He's formed me to be; and in what i value/cherish/invest my time & thoughts & resources in that inevitably happens within the rubber-meets-the-road environment of family.

i believe He is teaching me some things, many things, right now.
i'm learning that until i can be true to Who i know Him to be & true to "live up to what i've already attained in Him" by really being true to my unique self, there's a certain amount of spiritual authority that's lacking it seems...
it's the day-in, day-out respect, mutual-submission, kindness, humility, embrace of healthy conflict, joy, appreciation, etc etc etc with the ones who know us best that releases greater measures of authority in the Spirit i believe.
it's remarkably eye-opening to be walking through a season with the Lord where virtually all of the "external props" have been lovingly removed [and i reckon we each have our own set of external props/comforts that we prefer...]. i see even more clearly than ever where my AUTHENTIC plans, dreams, thoughts, rooted/groundedness, confidence, hope, comforts, etc are based.
and it's been kinda hard at times...but mostly INCREDIBLY refreshing to share this rawly intimate time with the Lord.

i am entirely grateful.

''break out of routine... break out of ritual... break out of whatever it may be that allows you to be satisfied with an external expression or comfort over an internal encounter with your God.''

-bill johnson.

heart motivations and Spirit elevations.

"everything that does not come from faith is sin."
-romans 14.23-

i find this principal that our God set into motion to be such kindness. as best i can tell, it seems to me that what He was trying to guard us against in this command was the treachery of double-mindedness.

i truly believe that second-guessing [and third and fourth and fifth-guessing...] ourselves leaves some sort of open door for the enemy to introduce all sorts and manners of confusion, chaos and lack of peace in our lives...and it really is His "peace which guards our hearts and minds in Christ"

this King we love and co-labor with & are getting to know better daily is truly obsessed with looking at the... actions of our hearts?

...the failings of our hearts?

no.

He seems rather obsessed with gazing at the motives of our hearts.

i really believe that the Bible is chock-full of Truths and examples set by fellow humans in centuries gone by that seem to declare this God-reality--

that He would prefer a 'failed' outcome of a heart acting in faith to the best of its ability to elevate the guidance of the Spirit

instead of

a 'successful' outcome of a heart acting in doubt, fear, self-preservation, etc.

a heart not acting in faith to the best of its ability, but instead attempting to avoid pain, rejection, failure, etc; or the heart elevating human reasoning above what it knows the Spirit to be saying is not a success in God's eyes.
a heart leaning on it's own strength or wisdom...attempting to safeguard itself and making a half-hearted, second-guessing decisions lacking that deep "transcending understanding" peace that has one Source & one Source alone = not good.

the motives.

it's all about the motives.

the mid-air dangle...

"there's a time to be born & a time to die. there's a right time to plant & a right time to uproot what has been planted."
.ecclesiastes 3:2.

i think we've all experienced what it means to plant somewhere.
to let the roots of our heart truly touch down and then allow those roots to push ever-deeper into the soil of a particular location, with a particular group of people, chasing a particular vision(s).
it tends to be the type of season where we learn to really buckle down with the Lord and allow our heart to get tangled up with His heart for & perspective on a particular locale or people group.
and perhaps, more than anything, it's a season in which we learn what it means to have a Good Shepherd always enjoying us, guiding us perfectly, keeping us in His "good and perfect will" no matter what the present surroundings of our path look like at the time; even when it's a stretch of the path that we are not particularly stoked about or find particularly appealing at the time...
we learn to trust Him enough to believe that we are just where we need to be--
at this time in history.

in this generation.
in this place.
with these particular humans.
bringing His heart & Kingdom down here- setting our hands to this particular task with the Lord...ever-increasingly learning just what a life consumed by "loving God, ourselves and others" really means- day-in, day-out...rubber meets the road.


and i reckon most of us have also experienced what it means to be uprooted.
to have the Lord speak, confirm and consume our hearts with fresh vision and new desire as He prepares to uproot us from our present location to plant us in a new one.


but the situation i find myself in presently, a situation i have been in one other time before, is that of dangling.
dangling mid-air.
i have been uprooted.
but i' ve not quite yet, however, been re-planted.

i was doing some landscaping for my ma a while back, planting various flowers and such.
i remember looking at a particularly stunning flower. i picked it up and began removing it from it's little plastic carton that it was transported in from the store.
as i pulled it out and held it in the air, it's roots were all exposed.
yikes.
it was still beautiful but it was NAKED. EXPOSED. VULNERABLE.
and it really got me to thinking...perhaps it's not the seasons of learning the hardships & beauties of commitment- of being planted...
and perhaps it's not the seasons of learning 'the ropes' all over again- of being planted in an entirely new place, that are the toughest seasons.

perhaps the toughest seasons are those in which we find ourselves 'dangling in mid-air'.
we've obeyed and let go of the past as we engaged our hearts with God's word to
"go out from where you are & go to a place I will show you..."

because this denotes major uncomfortability, especially in our modern-day, americanized, worship of logic, having all our "ducks in a row", productivity=value, sortta mindsets.
and boy o boy, does it leave our roots- who we REALLY are deep down- dangling, exposed mid-air.
it's authentic, raw, child-like trust His heart aches for i believe.
and in these seasons of letting go of what we know BEFORE knowing what He will have us grab onto next...it is surely trust He gets!
these mid-air seasons are dang good for quickly exposing our roots- or lack thereof.
DANG good.
:)

so here's my personal challenge- and one that i am extending to you, too:
say "yes".
be brave.

and trusting.

ALWAYS choose God and ALWAYS choose "yes!" when He initiates a leap.
when you sense Him giving you that "double dog dare" to let go of your past, and to even let go of your present...BEFORE you know what your future will completely look like...TAKE IT. take the double doggie dare my friends.

and when the soul-aches and heart-desires and flesh-screams come racing to the surface, and oh they most assuredly will, please don't ignore them or push them away or allow yourself to choose the cheap, shallow, temporary distractions that our technology-laden society will throw at you.
choose to hold His big ol' loving & powerful hand and explore the aches & desires WITH Him.
He wouldn't be exposing them if He didn't have an escape route and a much better alternative plan.

keep the soil of your heart soft, supple, stirred. 

please don't allow it to become hard, unbelieving, or pessimistic for even a moment's time.
learn to stir up your own soul as David did.
keep allowing yourself to be weaned off even the 'legitimate' pleasures of this world.

" You made us for Your good pleasure.
And our hearts are restless, until they find their rest in You."

the mid-air, hangy dangly seasons are truly a priceless, stunningly beautiful, life-altering GIFT from above.
grace to us all to believe that with all our soul.