welp...i sure am relishing this little season my Father has been kind enough to give me.
it's a season of a lot of rather beautiful 1-on-1 time with Him. it's a season with tons of face to face family time. and it's a season of rawly looking God & myself in the eyes- of really having the space/time to recognize & process at a whole new level Who He is, who He's made me to be & and what i REALLY value.
and, to be frank, it's rather uncomfortably eyeopening to see just how i'll spend my days when there's not a whole lot of structure/schedule in place nor is there a strong community of kindred hearts surrounding me on all sides as there typically has been the last few years.
VERY eyeopening.
and i adore it. greatly.
ALSO. i have my own bedroom & bathroom. i've not tasted of that goodness in over 3 years. so that's rather NEAT and APPRECIATED. thanks God :)
i've not been home for more than a few days or a few weeks in many years.
and now after having been home for the last 3 months, i am STILL astonished at just how much my God has changed me the last many years. the myriad of humans & different personalities; the wide variety of situations & stressors & joys; the experiences i've shared with my Lord have no less than formed me.
and i'll tell you something...there's an even greater solidifying in Who i know Him to be; in who i know He's formed me to be; and in what i value/cherish/invest my time & thoughts & resources in that inevitably happens within the rubber-meets-the-road environment of family.
i believe He is teaching me some things, many things, right now.
i'm learning that until i can be true to Who i know Him to be & true to "live up to what i've already attained in Him" by really being true to my unique self, there's a certain amount of spiritual authority that's lacking it seems...
it's the day-in, day-out respect, mutual-submission, kindness, humility, embrace of healthy conflict, joy, appreciation, etc etc etc with the ones who know us best that releases greater measures of authority in the Spirit i believe.
it's remarkably eye-opening to be walking through a season with the Lord where virtually all of the "external props" have been lovingly removed [and i reckon we each have our own set of external props/comforts that we prefer...]. i see even more clearly than ever where my AUTHENTIC plans, dreams, thoughts, rooted/groundedness, confidence, hope, comforts, etc are based.
and it's been kinda hard at times...but mostly INCREDIBLY refreshing to share this rawly intimate time with the Lord.
i am entirely grateful.
